1) Your Mantra Is Only Perfection
If your child comes home with a B on his test, are you thrilled that she
gave it her best? Or are you only focused on the fact that her grade
wasn't flawless? Tiger moms don't settle for anything less than
perfection. Whether it's performance in school, on the soccer field or
in a musical recital, children are expected to give it all or go home.
2) Friends Take A Backseat To Work
Social situations aren't the strong point of a tiger parent. Instead,
it's all about work, work, work. Slumber parties, play dates and hanging
out with friends after school always take a backseat to homework and
practice—no exceptions.
3) You Use Dicey Discipline
Nothing is off-limits in the pursuit of perfection. It's a bit extreme, but tiger parents justify their means by attributing them to the eventual success of the children, like, if you kid hadn't mastered a challenging piece
he stayed glued to the task for hours, forgoing food, water and bathroom breaks to get the job done.
4) You Reject All Things Childish
Who cares if your kid colored that picture from the heart? He went
outside the lines! A more permissive parent would see the effort as
touching, but tiger parents scoff at anything indicative of immaturity.
Some hardcore parents have been known to toss homemade birthday cards
and demand better ones.
5) You Threaten More Than Ask
There's no democracy in this den: Instead of asking children to get
their homework done, help with chores or practice piano, tiger parents
go right for threats instead. These intense parents are so afraid of
failure that they have to resort to negative consequences to get the job
done. It sets kids up for a worst-case-scenario mindset, rather than
participating out of actual desire.
6) The Schedule Trumps All
Being on a schedule helps you (and your child) feel in control and
limits speed bumps throughout the day. But when your set-in-stone
schedule trumps everything else in your kid's life—including friends,
food, sleep and just about anything enjoyable—this inflexibility can
lead to a seriously unbalanced lifestyle.
7) Leisure Time? What's That?
When other kids are playing the occasional video game, checking out
cartoons or riding bikes, your little one has his nose to the grindstone
24/7. Instead of having time to be a kid and enjoy his childhood, he's
treated like an adult from the womb.
8) Your Make Your Child Study To Get Into Kindergarten
Real tiger parents believe that success starts so early in life that
studying, working and achievement begins before a child is even in
school. If a kid isn't getting straight A's in colors, the alphabet and
writing her name, it's seen as a failure, no matter the age.
9) No Complaining - Ever!
Whiny kids are the worst, but tiger mamas take it to a whole new level.
While a child complaining about lima beans can grate on any mom's
nerves, a true tiger parent doesn't allow any form of complaining, be it
second-guessing or a well-placed whine. These parents believe their
kids need to learn to adapt to just about anything. It's a good lesson
when given in moderation ... but even kids need to vent every now and
again.
10 ) You Choose What's Important
You've always wanted your child to be a star violinist, so you make her take violin lessons ad nauseam.
But if she's really a jock at heart, forcing her into music doesn't
take her personality or preferences into consideration. Of course, a
tiger mom assumes that what's important to her will naturally be
important to her child; even when that may not be the case.
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