Self-centered behavior, demands of instant gratification of material
wants (not needs), tantrums on failing to get what they want, attention
seeking behavior, manipulation by making you, the
parents, feel guilty, etc., are some of the characteristic traits of a
spoiled child.
A spoiled child is the product of overindulgent parents,
who assume that money can substitute for their time and attention
towards their children, or sometimes you just cannot say, "No!", because
you 'love your child so much'! It
can really break your heart, to refuse something to someone you love
more than anything else in the whole wide world, and you also have the
best intentions at heart, when you buy things for your children. But the
problem arises, when the child has not been taught the value of these
things, or if these things have been given to him too easily in spite of
the child displaying less than satisfactory behavior lately.
In such a
case, the child begins to take these things for granted, and even begins
to expect them for no particular reason, and you end up spoiling your child, because you didn't predict/expect this.
You are dealing with a spoiled child, and you have to do this in the
best possible way, to avoid guilt trips, fits of anger, tantrums and the
like.
Here are a few tips to help you.
1) Keep Your Temper in Check
First and most important, is to keep your temper under control. Shouting
at your child is not going to get him to listen to you, and it will
simply increase your stress levels. Keep your voice even, and when your
child begins to increase his/her voice, firmly tell them to lower their
voice. If they refuse to listen to you, do not stand and continue
listening to them. Ignore their behavior, and tell them you will listen
to them only when they are ready to talk reasonably.
2) Start as early as Possible
As soon as it dawns on you that your child has been manipulating you
lately with tears and by laying guilt on you (which you
probably take knowingly or unknowingly), the alarm bells should go off
in your head. STOP NOW! Do not indulge your child unnecessarily, give
him whatever he wants just to stop him from disturbing you in the middle
of something important, or simply to stop his crying, tantrums, or
whining! All this tells your child that a little crying, yelling or
complaining will get him what he wants.
3) Reward Good Behavior
Better than punishing bad behavior, is to reward the good behavior
displayed by your child. Punishing bad behavior will tell your child not
to do certain things, but rewarding good behavior will also inculcate
good habits in children and tell them what kind of behavior is nice,
reasonable, and good. Decide on a particular thing, for e.g., if you
think your child has too many toys, instead of scolding him every time
he asks for another toy, explain to him how he cannot possibly play with
more than a couple of toys at a time. But that doesn't
mean that you give him other material things, ALL THE TIME. Most of the
time, words of praise, hugs and kisses, etc. should be enough. Only
once in a while, give rewards in the form of material possessions. You
do not want him to end up thinking that it is a replacement scheme,
where he can trade one thing for another!
4) Set Limits on Purchases
Ask your child to maintain a list of all the toys, gadgets, clothes,
etc., that he owns, along with the number of each of those things. Ask
him to keep adding to that list every time he gets something new. Every
time you head to the supermarket or a mall, ask your child to make a
list of all the things he wants. Then ask him to refer to the previous
list and decide whether he actually needs (NOT wants) all the items on
his list. Decide how many items he is going to be allowed, and set
limits for your child BEFORE you get to the store and tell him very
strictly that at no cost is he going to get anything else.
5) Ignore Unreasonable/Unruly Behavior
When you have set limits, and then mutually agreed on following them, do
not entertain any unreasonable behavior from your child. Do not lose
your patience either, because he is only a child and he is bound to be
tempted with all the 'wow' things he sees in the malls! But firmly tell
him to stick to his part of the deal, and if he really wants the new
toy/gadget, then add it to the next list. If he refuses to listen,
simply ignore his whining and crying. When this happens a couple of
times, he will realize that tears/threats/guilt-laying no longer work on
you, and eventually stop resorting to such techniques.
6) Teach Them to Value and Earn Things
Once in a while, sit down and talk to them. I mean, really talk! Tell
them about under privileged kids, orphans, teach your child to count the
ways in which he is lucky instead of complaining about what he doesn't
have. Once in a while ask him to help with the housework and give him
incentives after he has done the work! Like maybe give him a book, if he
has taken out the trash, cleaned the car or mowed the lawn. This will
also teach him to appreciate the value of things since he has worked
hard to earn/ deserve them! He will definitely treasure them more and
take care of them without being told to do so... What more can you ask
for, right?
A kid's mind is innocent. What he sees, he believes. If he sees that his
tantrums are being rewarded, he will continue to do so, whereas if he
sees that it is not an effective way to get things, he will eventually
tire of them and stop. Also, keep a check on your behavior. Next time
you are buying something for your child, because you couldn't take him
to the movies, or got caught up in work and could not host a party for
his birthday, stop yourself. No amount of toys or other things can ever
make up for the time that you don't spend with him every day, and no
parent can be so busy that he can't spend at least an hour with his
child every day, or even every other day. In a child's world, Love is spelled T-I-M-E. Give that to your child, and you will notice the changes!
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Friday 30 December 2011
Friday 23 December 2011
Children Tantrums. Ways To Manage It.
It starts with a whine. Then, a yell. Suddenly, there is kicking and
screaming. That’s right, you’re caught in the middle of a full blown
tantrum. But there is new scientific analysis of temper tantrums that
can help put you as a parent back in control. No matter how long a tantrum lasts, or how often they occur, they tend to follow the same pattern:
Phase 1: Yelling and Screaming. Peaks of anger tend to come early in a tantrum. It is common for tantrums to start with yelling. But this phase ends rather quickly. In fact, in cases where the parent stayed quiet and ignored their child’s angry noises, this yelling phase would end in a minute or less.
Phase 2: Physical Actions. Most parents see physical actions as an escalation of anger. But in fact, this phase represents the downward slope of angry emotions in a tantrum. Once they throw themselves on the floor and throw something, we’re probably on the downside of this tantrum. By this point, kids have used up lots of energy. The screaming and physical actions will tire them out, and again, in cases where the parent ignores these actions, the child eventually realizes that he's been out of control.
Phase 3: Crying and Whining. At this phase in the tantrum you’ve made it past the peaks of anger, and all that’s left is sad emotions. This should be the first time that a parent intervenes in the tantrum. With the anger gone, the child will seek comfort from you instead of fighting against you.
So what does this mean for the next time your child has a tantrum? Here are five tips that can get you through the storm quickly.
1. Ignore it. This will be very difficult. But it may be the most important and effective tactic for dealing with a tantrum. Most parents get caught in what it's call “The Anger Trap.” This means that you may do anything and everything to try and hush your screaming child. But ever notice how talking to them tends to make things worse? The next time your little one is in a fury, try keeping quiet for as long as you can, and just wait it out to see what happens.
2. Use simple, short commands. This is a good alternative if you cannot ignore your child for long, especially when you’re in public place. Stick to the simplest speech possible, for example, “Sit down” or “Please stop” or even something as simple as “No”. A tantrum is not a place for reasoning or clear communication, so get to the point quickly, or don’t say anything at all.
3. Avoid asking questions. It’s common for a parent to try empathizing by asking questions. But during an outburst, asking questions is an ineffective way to calm them down. When children are at the peak of anger, asking questions might prolong the anger. It’s difficult for them to process information, and to respond to a question that the parent’s asking may be just adding more information into the system that they can really cope with.
4. See the humor in it. This is a great coping mechanism to help you stay calm and relaxed. If you’re getting angry, your child may stay angry for longer too. Try to remember how comical the situation is. Keep yourself in a light-hearted mood, and the tantrum will seem to pass more quickly.
5. See it from a scientist’s perspective. After analyzing these awful screams and cries, now see tantrums as interesting, rather than irritating. Plus, it may help if you find a unique pattern within your child’s tantrums. Remember: while tantrums can be traumatic, they’re normal behavior for a toddler.
Blog Ping
Phase 1: Yelling and Screaming. Peaks of anger tend to come early in a tantrum. It is common for tantrums to start with yelling. But this phase ends rather quickly. In fact, in cases where the parent stayed quiet and ignored their child’s angry noises, this yelling phase would end in a minute or less.
Phase 2: Physical Actions. Most parents see physical actions as an escalation of anger. But in fact, this phase represents the downward slope of angry emotions in a tantrum. Once they throw themselves on the floor and throw something, we’re probably on the downside of this tantrum. By this point, kids have used up lots of energy. The screaming and physical actions will tire them out, and again, in cases where the parent ignores these actions, the child eventually realizes that he's been out of control.
Phase 3: Crying and Whining. At this phase in the tantrum you’ve made it past the peaks of anger, and all that’s left is sad emotions. This should be the first time that a parent intervenes in the tantrum. With the anger gone, the child will seek comfort from you instead of fighting against you.
So what does this mean for the next time your child has a tantrum? Here are five tips that can get you through the storm quickly.
1. Ignore it. This will be very difficult. But it may be the most important and effective tactic for dealing with a tantrum. Most parents get caught in what it's call “The Anger Trap.” This means that you may do anything and everything to try and hush your screaming child. But ever notice how talking to them tends to make things worse? The next time your little one is in a fury, try keeping quiet for as long as you can, and just wait it out to see what happens.
2. Use simple, short commands. This is a good alternative if you cannot ignore your child for long, especially when you’re in public place. Stick to the simplest speech possible, for example, “Sit down” or “Please stop” or even something as simple as “No”. A tantrum is not a place for reasoning or clear communication, so get to the point quickly, or don’t say anything at all.
3. Avoid asking questions. It’s common for a parent to try empathizing by asking questions. But during an outburst, asking questions is an ineffective way to calm them down. When children are at the peak of anger, asking questions might prolong the anger. It’s difficult for them to process information, and to respond to a question that the parent’s asking may be just adding more information into the system that they can really cope with.
4. See the humor in it. This is a great coping mechanism to help you stay calm and relaxed. If you’re getting angry, your child may stay angry for longer too. Try to remember how comical the situation is. Keep yourself in a light-hearted mood, and the tantrum will seem to pass more quickly.
5. See it from a scientist’s perspective. After analyzing these awful screams and cries, now see tantrums as interesting, rather than irritating. Plus, it may help if you find a unique pattern within your child’s tantrums. Remember: while tantrums can be traumatic, they’re normal behavior for a toddler.
Blog Ping
Tuesday 20 December 2011
Children Bad Habits. How To Break Them.
Humans are creatures of habit. Our behavior patterns, developed over
time, “program” us to follow predictable routines everyday. Your
children, too, are developing their own habits and routines - some of
which may be undesirable or downright harmful. As parents, it is
important for us to take an interest in our children’s habits. By
understanding the nature of habits and by employing some habit-breaking
strategies, you can help your child break bad habits.
At first children are quite conscious of the behaviors that they exhibit. As the behaviors continue in frequency, they become more involuntary and become habits. Habits develop due to factors including imitation, positive reinforcement, and/or anxiety or tension relief. The best tool for parents wanting their child to discontinue a habit is patience.
If parent wants the behavior to cease, the following techniques are often effective.
1) Talk Frankly With Your Child
Don’t just insist that your child discontinue the behavior. If your child is unable to see how refraining from the behavior is beneficial to him or her, your efforts will be futile. Talk about the behavior with your child and him/her why you think it should be avoided. Also let him or her know what positive things can be done to get your attention and to relieve nervous energy.
2) Use Behavior Shaping
Pick a time of the day in which the child normally would not exhibit his or her behavior and stay close by. During this period, reinforce successes and call attention to setbacks. When your child has become successful during these periods, set a new goal for a different time of day. This technique is effective in helping your child gain confidence that he or she can be successful.
3) Lead by Example
Children learn by modeling, so be sure not to engage in a behavior (smoking, for example) that you don’t want your child to imitate. You can also show how sincere you are by offering to discontinue a negative habit of your own.
4) Make a Public Commitment
Encourage your child to announce to grandparents, family friends and teachers that he or she is planning to break a habit. With support, it is always easier to resist an urge.
5) Use Positive Reinforcement
Show your appreciation for your child’s effort and determination. If your child becomes discouraged, focus on past successes. Keep any doubts and frustrations to yourself. When desired behaviors occur, immediately reward your child with praise, recognition, approval, attention or additional privileges.
6) Teach Your Child To Relax
Nervous habits, such as nail biting, increase under stress. Practice slow breathing exercises with your child and teach him or her to use positive self-talk whenever feelings of nervousness or stress occur.
7) Be Patient
Habits are not developed or broken overnight. Change occurs in gradual steps. Begin by aiming to reduce the number of times a habit occurs each day and then slowly progress toward extinction of the habit.
Habits aren’t called habits because we engage in them when we feel like it. Rather, they are behaviors that have a tendency to control us. Because habits are developed over time, it is important that parents are mindful of the behaviors that their children exhibit. Ignoring them won’t make undesirable behaviors go away. But if you employ the techniques listed here, you’ll be better able to equip your child with good habits and help him or her from slipping into a routine of bad ones.
Ping your blog
At first children are quite conscious of the behaviors that they exhibit. As the behaviors continue in frequency, they become more involuntary and become habits. Habits develop due to factors including imitation, positive reinforcement, and/or anxiety or tension relief. The best tool for parents wanting their child to discontinue a habit is patience.
If parent wants the behavior to cease, the following techniques are often effective.
1) Talk Frankly With Your Child
Don’t just insist that your child discontinue the behavior. If your child is unable to see how refraining from the behavior is beneficial to him or her, your efforts will be futile. Talk about the behavior with your child and him/her why you think it should be avoided. Also let him or her know what positive things can be done to get your attention and to relieve nervous energy.
2) Use Behavior Shaping
Pick a time of the day in which the child normally would not exhibit his or her behavior and stay close by. During this period, reinforce successes and call attention to setbacks. When your child has become successful during these periods, set a new goal for a different time of day. This technique is effective in helping your child gain confidence that he or she can be successful.
3) Lead by Example
Children learn by modeling, so be sure not to engage in a behavior (smoking, for example) that you don’t want your child to imitate. You can also show how sincere you are by offering to discontinue a negative habit of your own.
4) Make a Public Commitment
Encourage your child to announce to grandparents, family friends and teachers that he or she is planning to break a habit. With support, it is always easier to resist an urge.
5) Use Positive Reinforcement
Show your appreciation for your child’s effort and determination. If your child becomes discouraged, focus on past successes. Keep any doubts and frustrations to yourself. When desired behaviors occur, immediately reward your child with praise, recognition, approval, attention or additional privileges.
6) Teach Your Child To Relax
Nervous habits, such as nail biting, increase under stress. Practice slow breathing exercises with your child and teach him or her to use positive self-talk whenever feelings of nervousness or stress occur.
7) Be Patient
Habits are not developed or broken overnight. Change occurs in gradual steps. Begin by aiming to reduce the number of times a habit occurs each day and then slowly progress toward extinction of the habit.
Habits aren’t called habits because we engage in them when we feel like it. Rather, they are behaviors that have a tendency to control us. Because habits are developed over time, it is important that parents are mindful of the behaviors that their children exhibit. Ignoring them won’t make undesirable behaviors go away. But if you employ the techniques listed here, you’ll be better able to equip your child with good habits and help him or her from slipping into a routine of bad ones.
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Saturday 17 December 2011
Online Safety Tips For Parent
Here are some safety tips for parents who are concern when their kids are online.
- Discuss the Dangers
Teach your kids about internet dangers and assure them that they can talk to you about anything they might find online. Offer your help for blocking unwanted emails and websites.
- Track Your Child's Online Identity
Have your kids introduce you to their online identity on their email accounts, social networking profiles and personal websites. Ask them what they search for, what chat rooms they visit and who they speak to.
- Control Your Accounts
Control internet accounts by registering them under your name, and then set up personalized safety features that can help you control passwords, filter content and block websites.
- Caution Your Kids About Online Friends
Kids should never meet anyone they met online in person, because there are criminals who use the internet as a way of meeting and harming children.
- Protect Personal Info
Remind your kids to never send personal information out over the internet, whether it's through a personal message or on a public site. Teach your kids about what personal information means and why they should protect it. Never give out your full name, address, phone number or share a photo.
- Communicate with Caution
Teach your kids to ignore any dangerous chats, messages or emails, and report suspicious or offensive online users to authorities. Save the emails or messages, in case they can be used to track down an offender.
- Remember that Your Internet Presence is Hard to Erase
Even though it seems easy to delete something online, files are stored and can still be retrieved. Advise your child to think twice before posting or emailing information online.
- Share Photos with Prudence
Does your kids use a webcam or post personal photos online? Remind them that the internet is public, and pictures can easily be accessed by everyone. Discuss which photos they really wants others to view.
- Create Safe Screen Names
Help your kids choose a screen name that does not reveal any personal information. Never choose a name that alludes to a real name or age. Ping Blog
- Discuss the Dangers
Teach your kids about internet dangers and assure them that they can talk to you about anything they might find online. Offer your help for blocking unwanted emails and websites.
- Track Your Child's Online Identity
Have your kids introduce you to their online identity on their email accounts, social networking profiles and personal websites. Ask them what they search for, what chat rooms they visit and who they speak to.
- Control Your Accounts
Control internet accounts by registering them under your name, and then set up personalized safety features that can help you control passwords, filter content and block websites.
- Caution Your Kids About Online Friends
Kids should never meet anyone they met online in person, because there are criminals who use the internet as a way of meeting and harming children.
- Protect Personal Info
Remind your kids to never send personal information out over the internet, whether it's through a personal message or on a public site. Teach your kids about what personal information means and why they should protect it. Never give out your full name, address, phone number or share a photo.
- Communicate with Caution
Teach your kids to ignore any dangerous chats, messages or emails, and report suspicious or offensive online users to authorities. Save the emails or messages, in case they can be used to track down an offender.
- Remember that Your Internet Presence is Hard to Erase
Even though it seems easy to delete something online, files are stored and can still be retrieved. Advise your child to think twice before posting or emailing information online.
- Share Photos with Prudence
Does your kids use a webcam or post personal photos online? Remind them that the internet is public, and pictures can easily be accessed by everyone. Discuss which photos they really wants others to view.
- Create Safe Screen Names
Help your kids choose a screen name that does not reveal any personal information. Never choose a name that alludes to a real name or age. Ping Blog
Monday 12 December 2011
Parenting Styles. Facing New Challenges
Parenting today, is a lot different than parenting in the older times.
Rules of bringing up children have seen a sea change in the past few
decades. As the society is going through constant evolution, these
changes in parenting are only obvious. It is important that a parent
understands the world a child is exposed to. The biggest challenges of
modern parenting styles is raising kids, who are independent in thought
and are empowered to take the right decisions for themselves. This
full-time job comes with a new set of roles and responsibilities, which
questions you at every juncture, making the challenges tougher and
tougher as the children get older.
Challenges of Modern Parenting
Perfect Imbalance
With rising costs and skyrocketing inflation, earning money is the unavoidable truth of raising a family. Thus, with both the parents working round the clock the child gets neglected. This is the most common problem faced by parents today. To make up for this neglect, parents end up buying expensive gifts. Buying goodies is a temporary solution of the underlying problem of your own guilt. As both the child and parent gets used to this, the pattern continues for the rest of their lives. Sadly, the child never learns to earn anything, as most of the things he wanted were only a tantrum away. A parent's guilt and a child abusing the same, makes the perfect imbalance in modern parenting.
Moral Code
As the television and other modes of mass communication penetrated every household, it brought along a huge need for change in traditional parenting styles. Every parent tries to teach the child good values, so that they learn the distinction between morality and immorality at a very young age. However, when a child sees his favorite actor smoke, abuse and indulge in every activity that is termed as immoral with great enthusiasm, it does shake certain beliefs for both the child and the parent. Thus, the influx of media in day-to-day lives and the power of audio visual medium holds on a child's mind, makes the process of teaching them morals a big struggle for parents.
Quality Vs. Time
Time has always been a scarce resource. Especially with both the parents working, spending time with children gets very difficult. As both the parties are used to being away from each other, they rarely realize the importance of spending quality time with one another. Thus, in rare moments when they have time together, it's spent in silence or behind locked doors. Deteriorating quality of relationships due to lack of time, is the new age problem faced by modern parents. Sadly, with new age technologies such as cellphones, computers and Internet, chatting is the only form of conversations that one can have. Converting these virtual conversations into reality is another challenge faced by both, children and parents.
Rat Race
The modern world pressurizes children to be their best at whatever they are doing. If you aren't the best, you've lost out on life already. Take a moment here, and ask yourself what happened when you lost a school competition? Well, nothing really changed. In fact the failure taught you a new perspective of life. Slowing down and allowing your child to cope with extra curricular activities is the crucial part of normal development of a child. A pressure cooker situation worsens the situation at home between child and the parent. This may even make the child drift away from you and confide in people outside the house.
Masked Feelings
As many parents, live a stressful lifestyle, dictated by work pressure, spouse's death or divorce with the spouse, it gets difficult for them to handle their own emotional baggage. Under such circumstances, the child's emotional health gets neglected and is often ignored. As lack of communication widens the gap between parent and the child, it worsens relationships at home and makes a child build a secret world of friends and foes. Knowing your child's feelings is one of the toughest challenge of modern-day parenting.
As this generation is exposed to huge amounts of information, helping them assimilate it can be lead to a unique struggle between the parent and the child. Besides these, teaching kids value of money, or relationships and being a single parent poses a few more challenges in modern parenting styles. Parenting is a wonderful joy, if is dealt with an open mind to learn a few things from your kids too! Ping Blog
Challenges of Modern Parenting
Perfect Imbalance
With rising costs and skyrocketing inflation, earning money is the unavoidable truth of raising a family. Thus, with both the parents working round the clock the child gets neglected. This is the most common problem faced by parents today. To make up for this neglect, parents end up buying expensive gifts. Buying goodies is a temporary solution of the underlying problem of your own guilt. As both the child and parent gets used to this, the pattern continues for the rest of their lives. Sadly, the child never learns to earn anything, as most of the things he wanted were only a tantrum away. A parent's guilt and a child abusing the same, makes the perfect imbalance in modern parenting.
Moral Code
As the television and other modes of mass communication penetrated every household, it brought along a huge need for change in traditional parenting styles. Every parent tries to teach the child good values, so that they learn the distinction between morality and immorality at a very young age. However, when a child sees his favorite actor smoke, abuse and indulge in every activity that is termed as immoral with great enthusiasm, it does shake certain beliefs for both the child and the parent. Thus, the influx of media in day-to-day lives and the power of audio visual medium holds on a child's mind, makes the process of teaching them morals a big struggle for parents.
Quality Vs. Time
Time has always been a scarce resource. Especially with both the parents working, spending time with children gets very difficult. As both the parties are used to being away from each other, they rarely realize the importance of spending quality time with one another. Thus, in rare moments when they have time together, it's spent in silence or behind locked doors. Deteriorating quality of relationships due to lack of time, is the new age problem faced by modern parents. Sadly, with new age technologies such as cellphones, computers and Internet, chatting is the only form of conversations that one can have. Converting these virtual conversations into reality is another challenge faced by both, children and parents.
Rat Race
The modern world pressurizes children to be their best at whatever they are doing. If you aren't the best, you've lost out on life already. Take a moment here, and ask yourself what happened when you lost a school competition? Well, nothing really changed. In fact the failure taught you a new perspective of life. Slowing down and allowing your child to cope with extra curricular activities is the crucial part of normal development of a child. A pressure cooker situation worsens the situation at home between child and the parent. This may even make the child drift away from you and confide in people outside the house.
Masked Feelings
As many parents, live a stressful lifestyle, dictated by work pressure, spouse's death or divorce with the spouse, it gets difficult for them to handle their own emotional baggage. Under such circumstances, the child's emotional health gets neglected and is often ignored. As lack of communication widens the gap between parent and the child, it worsens relationships at home and makes a child build a secret world of friends and foes. Knowing your child's feelings is one of the toughest challenge of modern-day parenting.
As this generation is exposed to huge amounts of information, helping them assimilate it can be lead to a unique struggle between the parent and the child. Besides these, teaching kids value of money, or relationships and being a single parent poses a few more challenges in modern parenting styles. Parenting is a wonderful joy, if is dealt with an open mind to learn a few things from your kids too! Ping Blog
Friday 9 December 2011
Is Your Child Spending Too Much Time On The Screen. A Parental Guidance.
Ensuing to the rapid technological advancement, children spend
most of their time on gadgets and other technological inventions.
Instead of playing games involving physical activities, they usually
stay at the corner and take pleasure with their latest gaming consoles.
For this, they are depriving themselves with the ability to associate
with other people.
More often than not, parents are unaware of the detrimental effects these gadgets can do to their growing children. Thus, as early as 2 years old, parents are already exposing their kids to computers, television sets and other highly technological gadgets. Because most parents consider these gadgets to be informative and educational, they never impose any restrictions to their toddlers. Reason enough to make this sedentary form of recreation become a habit.
Since too much screen exposure is hazardous to children's health, parents must set limitations to their kids' viewing schedule. It is necessary for parents to gain control over their kids' activity especially it involves technology. The best way for parents to divert their kids' attention from computers, television sets and other gaming consoles, is to engage an outdoor activity.
For busy parents, indulging themselves in outdoor activity with their children is quite impossible. However, it is necessary for them to spare a little of their time for their kids. Quality time is essential for parents to bestow proper guidance, and spare them from the hazards of this advanced technology.
Quality time means, sparing some time with the kids just to have a loving conversation and play with them. It does not necessarily mean spending too much of your time for outdoor activity. Just helping them with their lessons and assignments in school will already suffice. Another way to divert their attention is to guide and support them with their hobby. Only bored kids often indulge themselves in computers and television sets.
If parents know how to keep their kids busy, then viewing period or playing with their gaming consoles and computers will decrease. Instead of using these computers to let children learn; parents must inculcate in their children's mind the importance of books. Although computers are more convenient to use than books, it is still necessary for parents to let their kids value the habit of reading.
While computer and television have a lot of benefits, reading and arts will also enhance children's learning as well as creativity. For this, they will no longer spend longer hours in front of the screen.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6734332
Ping Blog
More often than not, parents are unaware of the detrimental effects these gadgets can do to their growing children. Thus, as early as 2 years old, parents are already exposing their kids to computers, television sets and other highly technological gadgets. Because most parents consider these gadgets to be informative and educational, they never impose any restrictions to their toddlers. Reason enough to make this sedentary form of recreation become a habit.
Since too much screen exposure is hazardous to children's health, parents must set limitations to their kids' viewing schedule. It is necessary for parents to gain control over their kids' activity especially it involves technology. The best way for parents to divert their kids' attention from computers, television sets and other gaming consoles, is to engage an outdoor activity.
For busy parents, indulging themselves in outdoor activity with their children is quite impossible. However, it is necessary for them to spare a little of their time for their kids. Quality time is essential for parents to bestow proper guidance, and spare them from the hazards of this advanced technology.
Quality time means, sparing some time with the kids just to have a loving conversation and play with them. It does not necessarily mean spending too much of your time for outdoor activity. Just helping them with their lessons and assignments in school will already suffice. Another way to divert their attention is to guide and support them with their hobby. Only bored kids often indulge themselves in computers and television sets.
If parents know how to keep their kids busy, then viewing period or playing with their gaming consoles and computers will decrease. Instead of using these computers to let children learn; parents must inculcate in their children's mind the importance of books. Although computers are more convenient to use than books, it is still necessary for parents to let their kids value the habit of reading.
While computer and television have a lot of benefits, reading and arts will also enhance children's learning as well as creativity. For this, they will no longer spend longer hours in front of the screen.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6734332
Tuesday 6 December 2011
Reasons Why A Child Lie
As children grow, suddenly we parents are confronted by the fact that our child has learned to lie. The child who, till then, would come rushing to tell every little thing he does, has suddenly turned naïve. Research suggests that some children are capable of lying in a deliberate attempt to deceive by age four, and perhaps even earlier. But at this age it is not taken as a problem but as a passing phase.
Many a time it is difficult to know whether the child is lying. There are no consistent methods to know if a child is lying just by observing him. Sometimes one gets a clue from their expressions or when the story is too unbelievable or inconsistent. Since all children lie in childhood and only few of them grow up to be dishonest, it can be safely stated that most of them would be fine. In spite of this it is an important stage where parents have to be alert and handle this situation that carries in itself the potential to influence the child's future with deft care.
Parents need to analyze the type of lie and the underlying reason behind a lie. Children usually lie to protect themselves, to get something, which couldn't be gotten otherwise, to appear more important or to meet expectations. Here parents need to assess whether they are too strict with the child or whether they are proving a wrong role model by themselves lying before the child. They should be gathering more information about the situation before reacting'
How parents could contribute in creating a more conducive atmosphere:
1. Parents tone of voice should not bait a child to lie.
2. Set an example by telling the truth.
3. Appreciate the child when he tells the truth.
4. Build closeness, openness and trust in relationships instead of focusing on the misbehaviors.
5. Let children know they are unconditionally loved.
6. The child should understand that lying will not be accepted and the reasons why.
7. Build and help maintain the conditions for positive self-esteem.
Some lying is more deceitful and deliberate here the child needs to be demonstrated parents disapproval in no uncertain terms. The child can be punished by either withdrawing privileges or by time out techniques. Discussing with the child the consequences of lying and dishonesty will also help him to grow into an honest adult. Children must be made aware that failures are opportunities to learn so that they won't believe that failures are bad and need to conceal their mistakes With a little attention, lots of love, and a no-nonsense approach most problematic children will learn to avoid the need to lie.
Ping your blog
Many a time it is difficult to know whether the child is lying. There are no consistent methods to know if a child is lying just by observing him. Sometimes one gets a clue from their expressions or when the story is too unbelievable or inconsistent. Since all children lie in childhood and only few of them grow up to be dishonest, it can be safely stated that most of them would be fine. In spite of this it is an important stage where parents have to be alert and handle this situation that carries in itself the potential to influence the child's future with deft care.
Parents need to analyze the type of lie and the underlying reason behind a lie. Children usually lie to protect themselves, to get something, which couldn't be gotten otherwise, to appear more important or to meet expectations. Here parents need to assess whether they are too strict with the child or whether they are proving a wrong role model by themselves lying before the child. They should be gathering more information about the situation before reacting'
How parents could contribute in creating a more conducive atmosphere:
1. Parents tone of voice should not bait a child to lie.
2. Set an example by telling the truth.
3. Appreciate the child when he tells the truth.
4. Build closeness, openness and trust in relationships instead of focusing on the misbehaviors.
5. Let children know they are unconditionally loved.
6. The child should understand that lying will not be accepted and the reasons why.
7. Build and help maintain the conditions for positive self-esteem.
Some lying is more deceitful and deliberate here the child needs to be demonstrated parents disapproval in no uncertain terms. The child can be punished by either withdrawing privileges or by time out techniques. Discussing with the child the consequences of lying and dishonesty will also help him to grow into an honest adult. Children must be made aware that failures are opportunities to learn so that they won't believe that failures are bad and need to conceal their mistakes With a little attention, lots of love, and a no-nonsense approach most problematic children will learn to avoid the need to lie.
Ping your blog
Saturday 3 December 2011
Secrets of Raising a Happy Child
Nature and nurture are in a never ending battle to claim the disposition of our children. There are a multitude of things we as parents can do to safeguard the childhoods of our children, limit their exposure to the more damaging elements the world will see fit to introduce in time, and do our best to raise a healthy and happy child.
In addition to the obvious things such as making sure your child is consuming the right nutrients, staying hydrated, and getting the quantity of sleep and exercise a growing body needs, here are some secrets that can help you raise a happy child.
- Let your child know you are excited to see them when they enter the room. Let them see the light dance inside your eyes when their gaze drifts into yours. Be mindful of their presence by showing them your smile and greeting them warmly. Say their name out loud. Not only do children love to hear the sound of their name, they also long to feel validation from their loved ones. Think about it from an adult perspective – wouldn’t you love it if the face of the person you loved most lit like a holiday parade every time you entered the room? Your child loves you the most, imagine the returns after a childhood filled with such affection.
- Teach your child it’s okay to be bored. As parents, it’s often our instinct to entertain our children each and every waking hour. When we rely on television, or any other form of autopilot attention, we succeed only in limiting our child’s development. Children have vivid imaginations that flourish upon nurturing. But without the opportunity to coax their creativity, it will only whither on the vine. Allow your child idle minutes to develop their creativity with hands-on activities to stimulate their thought. A few sheets of paper and a box of crayons can keep a well rounded child busy for far longer than an episode of a TV programme.
- Limit your child’s media. Limiting your child’s exposure to media isn’t only a positive move for promoting their creativity, it is an excellent method to broaden their attention span while grooming their ability to stay calm. Your child will have plenty of exposure to more than you want soon enough. During those precious years when you are the designer of their decisions, you must make sure they are learning to live a life independent from the over-exposure that is often too easy to rely on. Yes it is difficult, but we owe it to the next generation to search for the right road rather than the easy one.
- Let your child know they are more important than work. Your child doesn’t just need you around, they need you present. Play with your child, interact with them, find out what is important to them by asking questions and listening to their answers. Your child deserves at least a little bit of you each and every day, at least a few minutes where you are not considering your email or allowing your thoughts to wander over what’s been left sitting on your desk. Letting your child know they are important is like giving them an insulin shot of happy.
- Let your child make a few of the rules. You don’t have to make them the boss to let them feel empowered. Often, power struggles with our children are the direct result of them feeling a loss of control. You can easily curb these instances by allowing your child to feel like they are part of making up some of the protocol. By at least appearing to give your child some of the control, you are helping them understand household law inside and out. This will lead directly to a willingness to follow.
- Teach your child – don’t assume it’s all happening outside the house. Home schooling is every parent’s job. Whether your child attends public or private school, or receives all their schooling at home, it is essential to the world’s best future that parents are the ones to fill in the blanks. There are plenty of skills not taught in school that play a massive role in determining who your children will grow up to be. Children are not raised in tupperware, and when they finally leave us to enter the world far away from our watchful eyes, they must have the sharpened tools that will help them be the best that they can be.
- Model appropriate behavior. Children do as they see, not as they’re told. If you want your child to be mindful of others, you must be mindful of others yourself. If you want your child to by happy, you must smile without hesitation. There is no one more influential to your child than you. At least for now.
Raising a happy child is hard work, but it is something that can and must be done. Once you focus on the needs of your child and ensure you are doing all you can to meet them, your efforts will be rewarded. You will have a healthy and happy child, fortunate to have been raised in a family where childhood wasn’t permitted to simply fade away.
In addition to the obvious things such as making sure your child is consuming the right nutrients, staying hydrated, and getting the quantity of sleep and exercise a growing body needs, here are some secrets that can help you raise a happy child.
- Let your child know you are excited to see them when they enter the room. Let them see the light dance inside your eyes when their gaze drifts into yours. Be mindful of their presence by showing them your smile and greeting them warmly. Say their name out loud. Not only do children love to hear the sound of their name, they also long to feel validation from their loved ones. Think about it from an adult perspective – wouldn’t you love it if the face of the person you loved most lit like a holiday parade every time you entered the room? Your child loves you the most, imagine the returns after a childhood filled with such affection.
- Teach your child it’s okay to be bored. As parents, it’s often our instinct to entertain our children each and every waking hour. When we rely on television, or any other form of autopilot attention, we succeed only in limiting our child’s development. Children have vivid imaginations that flourish upon nurturing. But without the opportunity to coax their creativity, it will only whither on the vine. Allow your child idle minutes to develop their creativity with hands-on activities to stimulate their thought. A few sheets of paper and a box of crayons can keep a well rounded child busy for far longer than an episode of a TV programme.
- Limit your child’s media. Limiting your child’s exposure to media isn’t only a positive move for promoting their creativity, it is an excellent method to broaden their attention span while grooming their ability to stay calm. Your child will have plenty of exposure to more than you want soon enough. During those precious years when you are the designer of their decisions, you must make sure they are learning to live a life independent from the over-exposure that is often too easy to rely on. Yes it is difficult, but we owe it to the next generation to search for the right road rather than the easy one.
- Let your child know they are more important than work. Your child doesn’t just need you around, they need you present. Play with your child, interact with them, find out what is important to them by asking questions and listening to their answers. Your child deserves at least a little bit of you each and every day, at least a few minutes where you are not considering your email or allowing your thoughts to wander over what’s been left sitting on your desk. Letting your child know they are important is like giving them an insulin shot of happy.
- Let your child make a few of the rules. You don’t have to make them the boss to let them feel empowered. Often, power struggles with our children are the direct result of them feeling a loss of control. You can easily curb these instances by allowing your child to feel like they are part of making up some of the protocol. By at least appearing to give your child some of the control, you are helping them understand household law inside and out. This will lead directly to a willingness to follow.
- Teach your child – don’t assume it’s all happening outside the house. Home schooling is every parent’s job. Whether your child attends public or private school, or receives all their schooling at home, it is essential to the world’s best future that parents are the ones to fill in the blanks. There are plenty of skills not taught in school that play a massive role in determining who your children will grow up to be. Children are not raised in tupperware, and when they finally leave us to enter the world far away from our watchful eyes, they must have the sharpened tools that will help them be the best that they can be.
- Model appropriate behavior. Children do as they see, not as they’re told. If you want your child to be mindful of others, you must be mindful of others yourself. If you want your child to by happy, you must smile without hesitation. There is no one more influential to your child than you. At least for now.
Raising a happy child is hard work, but it is something that can and must be done. Once you focus on the needs of your child and ensure you are doing all you can to meet them, your efforts will be rewarded. You will have a healthy and happy child, fortunate to have been raised in a family where childhood wasn’t permitted to simply fade away.
Tuesday 29 November 2011
How To Be A Patient Parent
Every parent loses his or her patience — it’s a fact of life. There are no perfect angels when it comes to moms and dads — we all get frustrated or angry and lose it from time to time. But patience can be developed over time — it’s a habit, and like any other habit, it just takes some focus.
Here’s a list of great tips and methods. Try it out and experiment with it to help you become a more patient parent:
- Count to 10. This one really works. When you feel yourself getting frustrated or angry, stop. Count slowly to 10 (you can do this in your head). When you’re done, most of the initial impulse to yell will go away. Alternatively, if you count out loud to 10, your kids will learn quickly that this is a good sign to run away.
- Deep breaths. This works very well in conjunction with the above tip. Count to 10, and then take three slow, deep breaths. Feel the frustration draining out of you with each breath.
- What would mom do? When you find your ire rising, think? “How would your mom handle this?” And using this role model, begin to change your behavior to something more positive. You can use any role model you want — not necessarily mom.
- How does this help? When you are about to say something to your kids, remember to ask myself, “How does this help my child?” This helps to re-focus on what’s really important. Yelling or getting angry rarely helps any situation.
- Take a break. Often it’s best just to walk away for a few minutes. Take a break from the situation, just for 5-10 minutes, let yourself calm down, plan out your words and actions and solution, and then come back calm as a monk.
- Teach. Kids are just kids — they are not perfect, they do not know how to do things, and they have a lot to learn. You are their teacher. Be patient, and teach them how to do things — even if you've teach them 10 times before, it might be the 11th time when things click. And remember, none of us learn things on the first try either. Find new ways to teach something, and you’re more likely to be successful.
- Visualize. This works best if you do it before the frustrating situation comes up. When you’re alone and in a quiet place. Visualize how you want to react the next time your child does something that typically gets you mad. How do you handle the situation? How do you look? What do you say? How does your child react? How does it help your relationship with your child? Think about all these things, visualize the perfect situation, and then try to actually make that happen when the situation actually comes up.
- Just laugh. Sometimes we need to remind ourselves that no one is perfect, that we should be enjoying this time with our kids, and that life should be fun — and funny. Smile, laugh, be happy. Doesn’t always work, but it’s good to remind yourself of this now and then.
Instead of reacting with anger, teach yourself to react with love. It’s the best solution.
Ping your blog
Here’s a list of great tips and methods. Try it out and experiment with it to help you become a more patient parent:
- Count to 10. This one really works. When you feel yourself getting frustrated or angry, stop. Count slowly to 10 (you can do this in your head). When you’re done, most of the initial impulse to yell will go away. Alternatively, if you count out loud to 10, your kids will learn quickly that this is a good sign to run away.
- Deep breaths. This works very well in conjunction with the above tip. Count to 10, and then take three slow, deep breaths. Feel the frustration draining out of you with each breath.
- What would mom do? When you find your ire rising, think? “How would your mom handle this?” And using this role model, begin to change your behavior to something more positive. You can use any role model you want — not necessarily mom.
- How does this help? When you are about to say something to your kids, remember to ask myself, “How does this help my child?” This helps to re-focus on what’s really important. Yelling or getting angry rarely helps any situation.
- Take a break. Often it’s best just to walk away for a few minutes. Take a break from the situation, just for 5-10 minutes, let yourself calm down, plan out your words and actions and solution, and then come back calm as a monk.
- Teach. Kids are just kids — they are not perfect, they do not know how to do things, and they have a lot to learn. You are their teacher. Be patient, and teach them how to do things — even if you've teach them 10 times before, it might be the 11th time when things click. And remember, none of us learn things on the first try either. Find new ways to teach something, and you’re more likely to be successful.
- Visualize. This works best if you do it before the frustrating situation comes up. When you’re alone and in a quiet place. Visualize how you want to react the next time your child does something that typically gets you mad. How do you handle the situation? How do you look? What do you say? How does your child react? How does it help your relationship with your child? Think about all these things, visualize the perfect situation, and then try to actually make that happen when the situation actually comes up.
- Just laugh. Sometimes we need to remind ourselves that no one is perfect, that we should be enjoying this time with our kids, and that life should be fun — and funny. Smile, laugh, be happy. Doesn’t always work, but it’s good to remind yourself of this now and then.
Instead of reacting with anger, teach yourself to react with love. It’s the best solution.
Ping your blog
Friday 25 November 2011
What Preventive Measures To Take When Your Children Are Online
The internet is vast and full of predators. It sounds scary and it is, but everyone knows that there is danger everywhere. It isn't isolated to the internet. However, the precautions are a bit different since you are dealing with technology and fighting against predators that are much more active in this medium.
The first step you want to take is communication. You want to know if your child is ready to go online and if they know the consequences of their actions. So ask them these questions:
1. Do you know who to talk to and who not to talk to?
2. What if someone asks for your personal information?
3. Who do you give your personal information to?
Your next step is to get some child-protection software. Some of these software are free and they do a good job. However your child will be shown ads and every parent has their own opinion about that. If you don't want your child in front of ads all the time, purchase the software. There also have a browsers available for free and with minimal ads. Search Google for child-safe browsers.
Let your child know about passwords and how to create them. If they can't create a good one on their own, create it for them. Let them know what a password is for and why they need to have a good one. Passwords are for protection and protection is your goal. So don't ignore this. Passwords are very important make sure your children understand.
Speaking of passwords make sure you know them all. Your child shouldn't be hiding things from you, especially on social media websites. Think Facebook and Youtube. You don't want them posting sensitive information or even private information. So monitor their social media use. There are a lot of predators on social media sites, not only sexual ones but viruses and Trojans.
Downloading is also a concern. You need to tell your child to look at what they are downloading, and to ask for your permission (if they aren't old enough). Downloading even certain images can have its bad effects. So tell them what is okay to download and what is not. If they aren't certain, then have them ask you!
Child safety isn't a one-time lesson. You need to teach your child to lookout for themselves on a continuous basis - that they should take be precautions when doing things online. Not that everyone is out to get them, but there are bad people in the world.
Ping Blog
The first step you want to take is communication. You want to know if your child is ready to go online and if they know the consequences of their actions. So ask them these questions:
1. Do you know who to talk to and who not to talk to?
2. What if someone asks for your personal information?
3. Who do you give your personal information to?
Your next step is to get some child-protection software. Some of these software are free and they do a good job. However your child will be shown ads and every parent has their own opinion about that. If you don't want your child in front of ads all the time, purchase the software. There also have a browsers available for free and with minimal ads. Search Google for child-safe browsers.
Let your child know about passwords and how to create them. If they can't create a good one on their own, create it for them. Let them know what a password is for and why they need to have a good one. Passwords are for protection and protection is your goal. So don't ignore this. Passwords are very important make sure your children understand.
Speaking of passwords make sure you know them all. Your child shouldn't be hiding things from you, especially on social media websites. Think Facebook and Youtube. You don't want them posting sensitive information or even private information. So monitor their social media use. There are a lot of predators on social media sites, not only sexual ones but viruses and Trojans.
Downloading is also a concern. You need to tell your child to look at what they are downloading, and to ask for your permission (if they aren't old enough). Downloading even certain images can have its bad effects. So tell them what is okay to download and what is not. If they aren't certain, then have them ask you!
Child safety isn't a one-time lesson. You need to teach your child to lookout for themselves on a continuous basis - that they should take be precautions when doing things online. Not that everyone is out to get them, but there are bad people in the world.
Ping Blog
Tuesday 22 November 2011
Ways To Get Your Kids Excited About Holiday Trip
It's the time of the year where you are planning for a holiday trip. Here are some tips to make it exciting and memorable for the family.
1) Get them into the mood of the place in advance. Watch movies or read books set in that particular country or city. This will involve them in the places on an emotional level, and they'll be really keen to actually go to “where it happened.”
2) Find places that are intriguing, not-well-known and “kid-friendly” to visit. Plan to go to places where you will be “doing” something. Active places win hands down with kids.
3) Plan shopping trips that your kids will enjoy and have them save up for special stuff they like, or give them allowances. Allow equal time for each in the shop of his/her choice. Getting stuff is always a blast, and showing the stuff off to friends gives them bragging rights as well!
4) Let the kids share in the planning. Set aside some days, blocks of time, evenings as you write out your itinerary and tell the kids that they decide what the whole crew does at those times. This gets them involved and excited about the things that THEY look forward to.
5) Go heavy on the local entertainment. Kids love music, movies, sports events. Plan these kid-friendly events with your kids input, and you're sure to have a blast.
6) Leave some time for relaxation. Stay at a hotel with a swimming pool, a tennis court or other game centers. Don't begrudge them that important video arcade time.
7) Plan to meet local kids. Studies all show that kids love meeting other kids. If you have friends or people you can connect with in your destination who have kids, plan a visit. You can also connect by searching the internet for kids' interative sites.
8) Put your kids in charge of the photography department, or at least their own photography department. Provide each with a good camera. If they are anxious to share photos with their friends back home and keep in touch, this is a good way to do it.
9) This may be the only don’t in the list. Don’t insist they keep a journal or diary. This is a chore. Unless they themselves come up with the idea, mum’s the word.
10) Have fun: this means you too. Taking your kids on a trip will provide experiences and closeness with them that will last until their own kids are ready to be launched.
Happy travels to you and your whole family!
pheromones
1) Get them into the mood of the place in advance. Watch movies or read books set in that particular country or city. This will involve them in the places on an emotional level, and they'll be really keen to actually go to “where it happened.”
2) Find places that are intriguing, not-well-known and “kid-friendly” to visit. Plan to go to places where you will be “doing” something. Active places win hands down with kids.
3) Plan shopping trips that your kids will enjoy and have them save up for special stuff they like, or give them allowances. Allow equal time for each in the shop of his/her choice. Getting stuff is always a blast, and showing the stuff off to friends gives them bragging rights as well!
4) Let the kids share in the planning. Set aside some days, blocks of time, evenings as you write out your itinerary and tell the kids that they decide what the whole crew does at those times. This gets them involved and excited about the things that THEY look forward to.
5) Go heavy on the local entertainment. Kids love music, movies, sports events. Plan these kid-friendly events with your kids input, and you're sure to have a blast.
6) Leave some time for relaxation. Stay at a hotel with a swimming pool, a tennis court or other game centers. Don't begrudge them that important video arcade time.
7) Plan to meet local kids. Studies all show that kids love meeting other kids. If you have friends or people you can connect with in your destination who have kids, plan a visit. You can also connect by searching the internet for kids' interative sites.
8) Put your kids in charge of the photography department, or at least their own photography department. Provide each with a good camera. If they are anxious to share photos with their friends back home and keep in touch, this is a good way to do it.
9) This may be the only don’t in the list. Don’t insist they keep a journal or diary. This is a chore. Unless they themselves come up with the idea, mum’s the word.
10) Have fun: this means you too. Taking your kids on a trip will provide experiences and closeness with them that will last until their own kids are ready to be launched.
Happy travels to you and your whole family!
pheromones
Tuesday 15 November 2011
The Importance of Education
The world is moving so fast these days that if you do not get then right education you could get left behind. Education gives people the knowledge and skills they require. Education is important to people of all ages and it has no limit. Education is also important for your sense of self and self esteem.
Children require education in order for them to learn how to speak and to write. Students in higher education level require knowledge in order to gain valuable information regarding what they are studying about. Managers in companies require education to improve them in decision making and adapting to changing environment. One cannot say that they do not need any further education no matter how smart they are because the quality of education is always improving.
This is the reason why education is becoming increasingly important and it has now become a necessity to everyone. In the past two decades or so, parents did not see education to be important for their child as they believed that their child only needs knowledge on certain issues. If parents still have the same mentality today, their child will find it difficult to make a living in today's world which has become very competitive. Even in lower education level, students are already competing with each other to determine who will get the highest grade in class. If these students are already so competitive in school just imagine how competitive would they be when they move on to higher education and after that, work.
With the standard of education getting higher, an organization's demand for an individual's level of education is also getting higher. Many years ago, a fresh graduate is able to apply for any job they want with a high school certificate. A few years on, expectation grew and the minimum requirement was a diploma certificate. Today, many students with degree level certificate are unemployed unless for those are holding certificates from prestigious universities. Imagine, if degree holders are already missing out on jobs, how those with only high school or diploma certificate fare? The level of standard and expectation of education has grown to a level where one cannot afford have insufficient education. This has how important education has become.
bluehost coupon
Tuesday 8 November 2011
How To Deal With A Lying Child
Teaching children morals and values is one of the toughest elements of parenting. When children lie to their parents, it feels like a major breech of trust. However, the important thing is to keep the focus on the child.
Parents should try not to be too worried or anxious about their child's lying. This behavior is not unusual for children. Sometimes children lie to get out of trouble, and it often works. Generally, lying is not the problem; it is a symptom of an underlying problem.
You need to move away from the idea of 'catching' their child in a lie. It is best if you can focus on the issues making the child lie instead of focusing on the lying part. Try to analyze the situation and figure out what is really bothering him/ her. If a child has only recently started lying, parents should consider if there have been any recent changes in the child's routine, school life, friends or a new sibling. Often lying is a reaction to stress or changes that children have a difficult time handling. Children often respond to stresses by seeking attention through 'acting out.' Children will seek any kind of attention when they feel needy. If parents think that this may be the problem, they should try making arrangements to spend special time alone with the child.
Suggested Solutions
A recommended approach to addressing your child's lying is to sit down and talk with the child, with no distractions. All other important things can wait, after all it is the one thing that you need to deal with now that shall inculcate the values even further, for a lifetime. Besides discussing the lying part, try to uncover what may be causing any anxiety. The child would not really know what's troubling him and it's quite possible that he/she might not be able to connect with this.
Help the child figure out what is stressful to him or her, and offer constructive ways of dealing with it. Try to help the child come up with alternatives to lying. When talking with your child, address the difference between make-believe and reality--lying and telling the truth. Stress to your child the importance of honesty at home and in the community.
Generally the fear of being punished can make the child speak the truth always, but it's also imperative that you don't use these tactics all the time, as children are quick in finding loop holes. Instead of punishing them for mistakes, praise them when they tell you something difficult. The key to changing a child's behavior is giving attention only for positive behavior. Then, reinforce the idea that they can tell you anything and you will always love them.
If your child's behavior continues for several more weeks, you may want to discuss the situation with their pediatrician. It is best to get some sound medical advise while ensuring that you are the best parent for your child!
Ping your blog
Parents should try not to be too worried or anxious about their child's lying. This behavior is not unusual for children. Sometimes children lie to get out of trouble, and it often works. Generally, lying is not the problem; it is a symptom of an underlying problem.
You need to move away from the idea of 'catching' their child in a lie. It is best if you can focus on the issues making the child lie instead of focusing on the lying part. Try to analyze the situation and figure out what is really bothering him/ her. If a child has only recently started lying, parents should consider if there have been any recent changes in the child's routine, school life, friends or a new sibling. Often lying is a reaction to stress or changes that children have a difficult time handling. Children often respond to stresses by seeking attention through 'acting out.' Children will seek any kind of attention when they feel needy. If parents think that this may be the problem, they should try making arrangements to spend special time alone with the child.
Suggested Solutions
A recommended approach to addressing your child's lying is to sit down and talk with the child, with no distractions. All other important things can wait, after all it is the one thing that you need to deal with now that shall inculcate the values even further, for a lifetime. Besides discussing the lying part, try to uncover what may be causing any anxiety. The child would not really know what's troubling him and it's quite possible that he/she might not be able to connect with this.
Help the child figure out what is stressful to him or her, and offer constructive ways of dealing with it. Try to help the child come up with alternatives to lying. When talking with your child, address the difference between make-believe and reality--lying and telling the truth. Stress to your child the importance of honesty at home and in the community.
Generally the fear of being punished can make the child speak the truth always, but it's also imperative that you don't use these tactics all the time, as children are quick in finding loop holes. Instead of punishing them for mistakes, praise them when they tell you something difficult. The key to changing a child's behavior is giving attention only for positive behavior. Then, reinforce the idea that they can tell you anything and you will always love them.
If your child's behavior continues for several more weeks, you may want to discuss the situation with their pediatrician. It is best to get some sound medical advise while ensuring that you are the best parent for your child!
Ping your blog
Tuesday 1 November 2011
How To Cope With A Rebellious Son
Anyone raising a boy needs to remember the toddler years when the word "no" was frequently uttered by your toddler boy. It was a natural and even expected part of that developmental stage. The "no" you hear now might be louder or seem a bit angrier, but pushing the boundaries is as normal with your now-older son as it was when he first was toddling about.
Maybe you are thinking that your son is pushing too many limits. What do you do? Give him the freedom he needs to discover his personality. Otherwise, take a parent-as-coach approach with your son as he sails through some tough waters.
Here are a few things to keep in mind with your rebellious son:
1. Choose your battles.
Sometimes parents need a reminder. In your own mind, know what the real and absolute limits are for your son's behavior. If everything he does is wrong, soon he will know that you have no idea what are your true boundaries for him. Learn to pass on the trivial things. Hair length, clothing and music choices are among the items that you should pass on. His tastes will change as he grows older. In his own good time, he will most likely abandon things that are really foolish.
2. Interfere with life-threatening activities.
Keep a close eye on his activities and get involved when know he is engaged in life-threatening behavior. Shoplifting, prescription-drug abuse and improper use of an automobile are a few of the areas where you will need to intervene. You might be screamed at when you step in. Remember that yelling alone cannot hurt you and his biology makes him ready for a shouting match up if you give him one. A good rule about arguing is to remember that the louder your son becomes, the lower your vocal volume should go.
3. Is his behavior a veiled attempt to communicate?
In a boy whose brain is still forming, rebellious behavior may be a cover for another need. Is that annoyed, defiant boy in front of you using anger or lethargy to cover for his pain? Ask him if you any suspicious. Are his friends mistreating him? Is he struggling with a physical issue such as acne, depression or physical developmental delay? Ask the questions and wait for the answer, which may take days. If he knows you are open to non-judgmental discussion, he will most likely come around. Keep the door open and be sure he knows you are ready to listen and help.
4. Don't be concerned about the opinion of others.
As a parent, you need to do what is right for your children in your particular situation and circumstances. While you might seek the counsel of your own trusted mentors, the opinions of your extended family, in-laws, friends are really are not important. Do not sacrifice the mental health of your son by responding to what "they" think.
Likewise, if your son has moved from simple rebellion (that is, it just makes you uncomfortable) to life-threatening behavior, seek out professional help. You are not alone in your frustration with your son. Parents have struggled with the fun and frustration of raising a boy. Do not take his rebellion personally but consider this part of his life as a discovery journey.
Ping Blog
Saturday 29 October 2011
How To Get Kids To Listen
Getting kids to listen can be a little tricky, especially if you don't spend a lot of time with children in the first place. The truth is that they can be very unpredictable - docile one moment and then running away from you in the next. A lot of them think that every day's just a game and honestly, who can blame them? They're kids.
However, there are ways of getting kids to listen without necessarily having to chase them all around the house. Read on to find out how!
1) Catch Them in a Good Mood.
When children are in a good mood, they're very sweet even if a bit mischievous. As long as they're happy, they're more likely to listen to you. Trying to talk them when they're having a tantrum or when they're upset is like talking to a brick wall. All they'll think about is how unhappy they are at the moment.
2) Say What You Mean.
Getting kids to listen doesn't work the same way as getting adults to listen. Adults need long sentences and explanations before they become convinced of something. Kids, on the other hand, need a more direct approach. Avoid going around in circles. Instead of rambling on and on about how they're lucky to have a family and how they would feel if the situation were reversed, just tell them that teasing their kid brothers and sisters is wrong and that they shouldn't do it again. They already have a short attention span as it is. In their case, the more direct to the point you are, the better your chances of getting your message across.
3) Listen To What They Have To Say.
Do to other people what you want others to do to you. It's as easy as that. If you don't take the time to listen to what the kids have to say, then how can you expect them to listen to you?
4) No To Violence.
No matter how much you want to get kids to listento you, you should never resort to violent means. Shouting and calling kids names won't get you what you want. Hitting or pinching them won't do the trick either. You might intimidate them at first, but it won't be long before they start fighting back.
5) Avoid Lecturing Them.
Don't start your conversation with a lecture. Lecturing was our parents' way of getting us to listen. And to be honest, that didn't end up well for a lot of people.
Today's method is much more recommended. It involves you talking to the kids about what it is they've done in a manner that aims to encourage self-learning than self-loathing. The conversation is now two-sided. The kids hear you out and you hear them out.
Learning how to get kids to listen to you can be quite tricky, especially if you haven't had a lot of experience dealing with them. Don't look down on them and they'll be more willing to lend you an ear. You might be surprised, but most kids these days are more insightful and more capable of handling responsibility.
However, there are ways of getting kids to listen without necessarily having to chase them all around the house. Read on to find out how!
1) Catch Them in a Good Mood.
When children are in a good mood, they're very sweet even if a bit mischievous. As long as they're happy, they're more likely to listen to you. Trying to talk them when they're having a tantrum or when they're upset is like talking to a brick wall. All they'll think about is how unhappy they are at the moment.
2) Say What You Mean.
Getting kids to listen doesn't work the same way as getting adults to listen. Adults need long sentences and explanations before they become convinced of something. Kids, on the other hand, need a more direct approach. Avoid going around in circles. Instead of rambling on and on about how they're lucky to have a family and how they would feel if the situation were reversed, just tell them that teasing their kid brothers and sisters is wrong and that they shouldn't do it again. They already have a short attention span as it is. In their case, the more direct to the point you are, the better your chances of getting your message across.
3) Listen To What They Have To Say.
Do to other people what you want others to do to you. It's as easy as that. If you don't take the time to listen to what the kids have to say, then how can you expect them to listen to you?
4) No To Violence.
No matter how much you want to get kids to listento you, you should never resort to violent means. Shouting and calling kids names won't get you what you want. Hitting or pinching them won't do the trick either. You might intimidate them at first, but it won't be long before they start fighting back.
5) Avoid Lecturing Them.
Don't start your conversation with a lecture. Lecturing was our parents' way of getting us to listen. And to be honest, that didn't end up well for a lot of people.
Today's method is much more recommended. It involves you talking to the kids about what it is they've done in a manner that aims to encourage self-learning than self-loathing. The conversation is now two-sided. The kids hear you out and you hear them out.
Learning how to get kids to listen to you can be quite tricky, especially if you haven't had a lot of experience dealing with them. Don't look down on them and they'll be more willing to lend you an ear. You might be surprised, but most kids these days are more insightful and more capable of handling responsibility.
Wednesday 26 October 2011
Are You A Facebook Addict ?
Facebook addiction is possible. As with any type of technology, compulsive use of social networks can affect your offline social life and have serious social, physical and psychological consequences.
2. Staying logged into a Facebook session longer than planned (frequently associated with a loss of sense of time or a neglect of basic needs).
3. Giving up important social or occupational activities in order to spend time on Facebook.
4. Continued use of Facebook despite negative consequences related to Facebook use, including physical symptoms of fatigue, marital or social problems, and/or problems at work.
5. When Facebook is inaccessible, feelings of anger, tension, and/or depression are present.
6. An increasing need to spend more time on Facebook to achieve the same initial effect of self-satisfaction.
7. Spending a great deal of time on other Facebook-related activities, such as creating new ideas for updating your profile, reading or talking about Facebook and trying new software related to Facebook,
8. Attempts to cut down or stop engaging on Facebook tend to fail.
9. Steady or sharp increase in Facebook use. Usually noticeable by excessive login times on Facebook, including profile updates, commenting, uploading/downloading files, and browsing profiles.
10. A friend, family member or loved one comments on your Facebook use as “too much.”
If you think that your children may have a problem with Facebook, it is time to take remedial actions. Technology addictions and IT related compulsive use is an emerging problem Do seek professional help if family members, especially your children, show signs of these addiction. There is no shame in that.
Top 10 signs of Facebook addiction
1. Initial feelings of satisfaction or pleasure after a Facebook login session.2. Staying logged into a Facebook session longer than planned (frequently associated with a loss of sense of time or a neglect of basic needs).
3. Giving up important social or occupational activities in order to spend time on Facebook.
4. Continued use of Facebook despite negative consequences related to Facebook use, including physical symptoms of fatigue, marital or social problems, and/or problems at work.
5. When Facebook is inaccessible, feelings of anger, tension, and/or depression are present.
6. An increasing need to spend more time on Facebook to achieve the same initial effect of self-satisfaction.
7. Spending a great deal of time on other Facebook-related activities, such as creating new ideas for updating your profile, reading or talking about Facebook and trying new software related to Facebook,
8. Attempts to cut down or stop engaging on Facebook tend to fail.
9. Steady or sharp increase in Facebook use. Usually noticeable by excessive login times on Facebook, including profile updates, commenting, uploading/downloading files, and browsing profiles.
10. A friend, family member or loved one comments on your Facebook use as “too much.”
If you think that your children may have a problem with Facebook, it is time to take remedial actions. Technology addictions and IT related compulsive use is an emerging problem Do seek professional help if family members, especially your children, show signs of these addiction. There is no shame in that.
Sunday 23 October 2011
How To Motivate Your Children To Do Schoolwork
Getting your children to do their schoolwork is one of the toughest tasks which parents face daily. At times things can get so frustrating that parents end up yelling at their children or punishing them. However aggressiveness or impatience only aggravates the situation rather than solving it. If your children are not taking interest in their schoolwork and studies, here are a few parenting tips which can help you get schoolwork done from your children without too much fuss:
1) First of all, sit with your children and gently explain to them why studies and schoolwork are important. Don't lose your cool. Instead be calm and patient with your children. Also discuss with them what kind of work you do and share the books you read. Listen to what they have to say about their school, teachers, classmates, assignments and so on. Participate with them in their world and activities and they will feel closer to you.
2) Set up a fixed schedule for schoolwork which should be followed as a daily routine. For instance, devote the time say from 4 to 5:30 for schoolwork and after that for play. Once they know that they have time for play after their schoolwork is finished, they will enjoy the excitement of finishing schoolwork quickly. That helps children realize that their entire day is not devoted to just studies.
3) After scheduling a fixed time, set up a place in the house where children can do their schoolwork without any distractions. Make sure that the study room has ample light and is clean and quiet.
4) Don't interfere too much while your children are doing their schoolwork. Offer your help when your child asks for it. Supervising your child too closely at every step can have two undesirable results - (a) your child will not learn to do his own tasks independently (b) your child may find your interference a bother. Instead give your child time to resolve her/her problems. Step in only when you find your child unable to handle the task on his own.
5) Be a role model to your children. If children 3 to 10 years old watch their parents reading or writing, they too are likely to pick up these habits.
6) Apart from all this, also make an effort to keep in touch with your children's teachers. This will keep you updated about how your children are progressing in school. It will also give you an opportunity to discuss with the teachers your child's performance in school.
If you are looking for a smart learning method where kids education and learning activities are a fun thing just click here @ http://bit.ly/mOMHDC
1) First of all, sit with your children and gently explain to them why studies and schoolwork are important. Don't lose your cool. Instead be calm and patient with your children. Also discuss with them what kind of work you do and share the books you read. Listen to what they have to say about their school, teachers, classmates, assignments and so on. Participate with them in their world and activities and they will feel closer to you.
2) Set up a fixed schedule for schoolwork which should be followed as a daily routine. For instance, devote the time say from 4 to 5:30 for schoolwork and after that for play. Once they know that they have time for play after their schoolwork is finished, they will enjoy the excitement of finishing schoolwork quickly. That helps children realize that their entire day is not devoted to just studies.
3) After scheduling a fixed time, set up a place in the house where children can do their schoolwork without any distractions. Make sure that the study room has ample light and is clean and quiet.
4) Don't interfere too much while your children are doing their schoolwork. Offer your help when your child asks for it. Supervising your child too closely at every step can have two undesirable results - (a) your child will not learn to do his own tasks independently (b) your child may find your interference a bother. Instead give your child time to resolve her/her problems. Step in only when you find your child unable to handle the task on his own.
5) Be a role model to your children. If children 3 to 10 years old watch their parents reading or writing, they too are likely to pick up these habits.
6) Apart from all this, also make an effort to keep in touch with your children's teachers. This will keep you updated about how your children are progressing in school. It will also give you an opportunity to discuss with the teachers your child's performance in school.
If you are looking for a smart learning method where kids education and learning activities are a fun thing just click here @ http://bit.ly/mOMHDC
Thursday 20 October 2011
Damaging Parenting Styles. Are You One Of Those ?
Just like a butterfly must experience the struggle of breaking out of the cocoon to strengthen its wings, so also our youth must mature into adulthood by experiencing failure, relating to difficult people, and other hard things we would like to protect them from. We can inadvertently prevent our children from growing into strong adults by helping them too much.
Ask any teacher what is their number one headache. Most of them will say “parents” hands down. Whoops. Don't sound to be rude but there's some truth to that statement. For all intent and purposes, we do not wish to be bad parents.
There are some damaging parenting styles which we may have unintentionally acquired and impose them upon our children without realizing the consequences. Below are some of them.
- Helicopter parents. One that tend to hover over their kids, keeping them from normal life difficulties and preventing them from learning from normal failure which would result in the life lesson of persevering.
-Karaoke parents. One that work hard at emulating their kids’ generation and try to be their buddies rather than the authority figure of parents. They fail to earn respect and to demand obedience.
- Dry cleaner parents. One who are always dropping their kids off for others to raise them or fix them. They fail to mentor their kids.
- Volcano parents. They tend to erupt all over school authorities without any warning.
- Dropout parents. Someone who give up, either just checking out of being a parent or literally leaving the family to fend for themselves. They fail to provide a role model.
- Bullied parents. They are beaten down by their strong-willed kids, intimidated by their threats. They have surrendered their authority.
- Groupie parents. One that idolize their children, making celebrities of their glorious offspring, lavishing things on them and denying nothing.
- Commando parents. They focus on perfection and compliance rather than being satisfied with growth and improvement.
Do you belong to one of those categories ? If you do, it's time to make a change. I bet you can think of someone you know who is also an example of each one of these. And of course, there is the blend too – where we do this sometimes and that other times.
What our children need is an adult in his life to make appropriate demands on one hand and to have appropriate responsiveness on the other. Remember that childhood is very fleeting, toddlers today and adolescents tomorrow. Whatever difficulty you are experiencing as a parent, you want to keep it in perspective.
Ask any teacher what is their number one headache. Most of them will say “parents” hands down. Whoops. Don't sound to be rude but there's some truth to that statement. For all intent and purposes, we do not wish to be bad parents.
There are some damaging parenting styles which we may have unintentionally acquired and impose them upon our children without realizing the consequences. Below are some of them.
- Helicopter parents. One that tend to hover over their kids, keeping them from normal life difficulties and preventing them from learning from normal failure which would result in the life lesson of persevering.
-Karaoke parents. One that work hard at emulating their kids’ generation and try to be their buddies rather than the authority figure of parents. They fail to earn respect and to demand obedience.
- Dry cleaner parents. One who are always dropping their kids off for others to raise them or fix them. They fail to mentor their kids.
- Volcano parents. They tend to erupt all over school authorities without any warning.
- Dropout parents. Someone who give up, either just checking out of being a parent or literally leaving the family to fend for themselves. They fail to provide a role model.
- Bullied parents. They are beaten down by their strong-willed kids, intimidated by their threats. They have surrendered their authority.
- Groupie parents. One that idolize their children, making celebrities of their glorious offspring, lavishing things on them and denying nothing.
- Commando parents. They focus on perfection and compliance rather than being satisfied with growth and improvement.
Do you belong to one of those categories ? If you do, it's time to make a change. I bet you can think of someone you know who is also an example of each one of these. And of course, there is the blend too – where we do this sometimes and that other times.
What our children need is an adult in his life to make appropriate demands on one hand and to have appropriate responsiveness on the other. Remember that childhood is very fleeting, toddlers today and adolescents tomorrow. Whatever difficulty you are experiencing as a parent, you want to keep it in perspective.
Monday 17 October 2011
The Proper Way To Reward A Child.
When we see our children growing up, we can’t help but feel that child development resemble ourselves many years ago. They are full of hope and dreams and it is our duty to provide and give them the best that we can. Our children require tonnes of guidance from us, and often, parents may dish out rewards to motivate them. The issue of rewarding our children has been quite a debate in recent years, with critics pointing out that parents are too generous in rewarding their kids. This may result in overly sheltered and pampered children in today’s society.
Of cause, there is absolutely nothing wrong with rewarding your child! You can reward your child for many occasions like coming up tops in class, improving on a weak subject, stopping a bad habit and doing a good deed. Let us examine why rewarding is essential portion in nurturing a child:
-Motivation and encouragement. Children do not have the maturity to differentiate right from wrong and giving rewards is a good method of reinforcing a particular ideal.
-Getting things done correctly. A reward will ensure that the child knows which actions deserve a reward or which action will result in a reprimand.
-Inculcating positive habits. Different children have different personalities and different habits. Sometimes, offering a reward to inculcate a good habit works better than just repeated scolding or nagging.
- Get rid of the guilty conscience. Parents may feel that they are too harsh on their children. We must bear in mind that we want them to grow up with the proper behaviour and best manners and reprimanding is part of the process.
-Add in some tender loving care! A pat on the back, a praise from your mouth, a big hug and a kiss on the cheek can also show how much you care for them!
-Draw up some boundaries. Yes, by doing this, your child will know some limitations. What is right or wrong, or what can be done or not. Hence, your child will not have a mindset that doing something correct will result in a reward.
There are many types of rewards. A parent must take note that rewards are more than just handing out extra pocket money, new toys or ice-creams. A reward could come in the form of a compliment, a slightly longer time in front of the TV, a surprise trip to the zoo, or even a pat on the back. Which type of reward is suitable for your child, only the parents are able to decide. Some parents tend to replace rewards with punishments. It can work too, but remember, always do it in moderation. Ultimately, we would not want our children to be fearful of us.
The bottom line is too many rewards in the form of cash or other material benefits is not recommended as it can result in your child being overly materialistic, pampered or calculative. Parents can sit down, think through and plan the appropriate rewards to give their children. However, as they grow up, there must be a gradual transition whereby our children can do the correct things without rewards. We must wean them from the rewards, just like how we would teach our child to swim initially with a float and slowly removing the float as they become better. Lets do our best to nurture our kids to become self-reliant, well-mannered and responsible adults!
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