Every parent loses his or her patience — it’s a fact of life. There are no perfect angels when it comes to moms and dads — we all get frustrated or angry and lose it from time to time. But patience can be developed over time — it’s a habit, and like any other habit, it just takes some focus.
Here’s a list of great tips and methods. Try it out and experiment with it to help you become a more patient parent:
- Count to 10. This one really works. When you feel yourself getting frustrated or angry, stop. Count slowly to 10 (you can do this in your head). When you’re done, most of the initial impulse to yell will go away. Alternatively, if you count out loud to 10, your kids will learn quickly that this is a good sign to run away.
- Deep breaths. This works very well in conjunction with the above tip. Count to 10, and then take three slow, deep breaths. Feel the frustration draining out of you with each breath.
- What would mom do? When you find your ire rising, think? “How would your mom handle this?” And using this role model, begin to change your behavior to something more positive. You can use any role model you want — not necessarily mom.
- How does this help? When you are about to say something to your kids, remember to ask myself, “How does this help my child?” This helps to re-focus on what’s really important. Yelling or getting angry rarely helps any situation.
- Take a break. Often it’s best just to walk away for a few minutes. Take a break from the situation, just for 5-10 minutes, let yourself calm down, plan out your words and actions and solution, and then come back calm as a monk.
- Teach. Kids are just kids — they are not perfect, they do not know how to do things, and they have a lot to learn. You are their teacher. Be patient, and teach them how to do things — even if you've teach them 10 times before, it might be the 11th time when things click. And remember, none of us learn things on the first try either. Find new ways to teach something, and you’re more likely to be successful.
- Visualize. This works best if you do it before the frustrating situation comes up. When you’re alone and in a quiet place. Visualize how you want to react the next time your child does something that typically gets you mad. How do you handle the situation? How do you look? What do you say? How does your child react? How does it help your relationship with your child? Think about all these things, visualize the perfect situation, and then try to actually make that happen when the situation actually comes up.
- Just laugh. Sometimes we need to remind ourselves that no one is perfect, that we should be enjoying this time with our kids, and that life should be fun — and funny. Smile, laugh, be happy. Doesn’t always work, but it’s good to remind yourself of this now and then.
Instead of reacting with anger, teach yourself to react with love. It’s the best solution.
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Tuesday 29 November 2011
Friday 25 November 2011
What Preventive Measures To Take When Your Children Are Online
The internet is vast and full of predators. It sounds scary and it is, but everyone knows that there is danger everywhere. It isn't isolated to the internet. However, the precautions are a bit different since you are dealing with technology and fighting against predators that are much more active in this medium.
The first step you want to take is communication. You want to know if your child is ready to go online and if they know the consequences of their actions. So ask them these questions:
1. Do you know who to talk to and who not to talk to?
2. What if someone asks for your personal information?
3. Who do you give your personal information to?
Your next step is to get some child-protection software. Some of these software are free and they do a good job. However your child will be shown ads and every parent has their own opinion about that. If you don't want your child in front of ads all the time, purchase the software. There also have a browsers available for free and with minimal ads. Search Google for child-safe browsers.
Let your child know about passwords and how to create them. If they can't create a good one on their own, create it for them. Let them know what a password is for and why they need to have a good one. Passwords are for protection and protection is your goal. So don't ignore this. Passwords are very important make sure your children understand.
Speaking of passwords make sure you know them all. Your child shouldn't be hiding things from you, especially on social media websites. Think Facebook and Youtube. You don't want them posting sensitive information or even private information. So monitor their social media use. There are a lot of predators on social media sites, not only sexual ones but viruses and Trojans.
Downloading is also a concern. You need to tell your child to look at what they are downloading, and to ask for your permission (if they aren't old enough). Downloading even certain images can have its bad effects. So tell them what is okay to download and what is not. If they aren't certain, then have them ask you!
Child safety isn't a one-time lesson. You need to teach your child to lookout for themselves on a continuous basis - that they should take be precautions when doing things online. Not that everyone is out to get them, but there are bad people in the world.
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The first step you want to take is communication. You want to know if your child is ready to go online and if they know the consequences of their actions. So ask them these questions:
1. Do you know who to talk to and who not to talk to?
2. What if someone asks for your personal information?
3. Who do you give your personal information to?
Your next step is to get some child-protection software. Some of these software are free and they do a good job. However your child will be shown ads and every parent has their own opinion about that. If you don't want your child in front of ads all the time, purchase the software. There also have a browsers available for free and with minimal ads. Search Google for child-safe browsers.
Let your child know about passwords and how to create them. If they can't create a good one on their own, create it for them. Let them know what a password is for and why they need to have a good one. Passwords are for protection and protection is your goal. So don't ignore this. Passwords are very important make sure your children understand.
Speaking of passwords make sure you know them all. Your child shouldn't be hiding things from you, especially on social media websites. Think Facebook and Youtube. You don't want them posting sensitive information or even private information. So monitor their social media use. There are a lot of predators on social media sites, not only sexual ones but viruses and Trojans.
Downloading is also a concern. You need to tell your child to look at what they are downloading, and to ask for your permission (if they aren't old enough). Downloading even certain images can have its bad effects. So tell them what is okay to download and what is not. If they aren't certain, then have them ask you!
Child safety isn't a one-time lesson. You need to teach your child to lookout for themselves on a continuous basis - that they should take be precautions when doing things online. Not that everyone is out to get them, but there are bad people in the world.
Ping Blog
Tuesday 22 November 2011
Ways To Get Your Kids Excited About Holiday Trip
It's the time of the year where you are planning for a holiday trip. Here are some tips to make it exciting and memorable for the family.
1) Get them into the mood of the place in advance. Watch movies or read books set in that particular country or city. This will involve them in the places on an emotional level, and they'll be really keen to actually go to “where it happened.”
2) Find places that are intriguing, not-well-known and “kid-friendly” to visit. Plan to go to places where you will be “doing” something. Active places win hands down with kids.
3) Plan shopping trips that your kids will enjoy and have them save up for special stuff they like, or give them allowances. Allow equal time for each in the shop of his/her choice. Getting stuff is always a blast, and showing the stuff off to friends gives them bragging rights as well!
4) Let the kids share in the planning. Set aside some days, blocks of time, evenings as you write out your itinerary and tell the kids that they decide what the whole crew does at those times. This gets them involved and excited about the things that THEY look forward to.
5) Go heavy on the local entertainment. Kids love music, movies, sports events. Plan these kid-friendly events with your kids input, and you're sure to have a blast.
6) Leave some time for relaxation. Stay at a hotel with a swimming pool, a tennis court or other game centers. Don't begrudge them that important video arcade time.
7) Plan to meet local kids. Studies all show that kids love meeting other kids. If you have friends or people you can connect with in your destination who have kids, plan a visit. You can also connect by searching the internet for kids' interative sites.
8) Put your kids in charge of the photography department, or at least their own photography department. Provide each with a good camera. If they are anxious to share photos with their friends back home and keep in touch, this is a good way to do it.
9) This may be the only don’t in the list. Don’t insist they keep a journal or diary. This is a chore. Unless they themselves come up with the idea, mum’s the word.
10) Have fun: this means you too. Taking your kids on a trip will provide experiences and closeness with them that will last until their own kids are ready to be launched.
Happy travels to you and your whole family!
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1) Get them into the mood of the place in advance. Watch movies or read books set in that particular country or city. This will involve them in the places on an emotional level, and they'll be really keen to actually go to “where it happened.”
2) Find places that are intriguing, not-well-known and “kid-friendly” to visit. Plan to go to places where you will be “doing” something. Active places win hands down with kids.
3) Plan shopping trips that your kids will enjoy and have them save up for special stuff they like, or give them allowances. Allow equal time for each in the shop of his/her choice. Getting stuff is always a blast, and showing the stuff off to friends gives them bragging rights as well!
4) Let the kids share in the planning. Set aside some days, blocks of time, evenings as you write out your itinerary and tell the kids that they decide what the whole crew does at those times. This gets them involved and excited about the things that THEY look forward to.
5) Go heavy on the local entertainment. Kids love music, movies, sports events. Plan these kid-friendly events with your kids input, and you're sure to have a blast.
6) Leave some time for relaxation. Stay at a hotel with a swimming pool, a tennis court or other game centers. Don't begrudge them that important video arcade time.
7) Plan to meet local kids. Studies all show that kids love meeting other kids. If you have friends or people you can connect with in your destination who have kids, plan a visit. You can also connect by searching the internet for kids' interative sites.
8) Put your kids in charge of the photography department, or at least their own photography department. Provide each with a good camera. If they are anxious to share photos with their friends back home and keep in touch, this is a good way to do it.
9) This may be the only don’t in the list. Don’t insist they keep a journal or diary. This is a chore. Unless they themselves come up with the idea, mum’s the word.
10) Have fun: this means you too. Taking your kids on a trip will provide experiences and closeness with them that will last until their own kids are ready to be launched.
Happy travels to you and your whole family!
pheromones
Tuesday 15 November 2011
The Importance of Education
The world is moving so fast these days that if you do not get then right education you could get left behind. Education gives people the knowledge and skills they require. Education is important to people of all ages and it has no limit. Education is also important for your sense of self and self esteem.
Children require education in order for them to learn how to speak and to write. Students in higher education level require knowledge in order to gain valuable information regarding what they are studying about. Managers in companies require education to improve them in decision making and adapting to changing environment. One cannot say that they do not need any further education no matter how smart they are because the quality of education is always improving.
This is the reason why education is becoming increasingly important and it has now become a necessity to everyone. In the past two decades or so, parents did not see education to be important for their child as they believed that their child only needs knowledge on certain issues. If parents still have the same mentality today, their child will find it difficult to make a living in today's world which has become very competitive. Even in lower education level, students are already competing with each other to determine who will get the highest grade in class. If these students are already so competitive in school just imagine how competitive would they be when they move on to higher education and after that, work.
With the standard of education getting higher, an organization's demand for an individual's level of education is also getting higher. Many years ago, a fresh graduate is able to apply for any job they want with a high school certificate. A few years on, expectation grew and the minimum requirement was a diploma certificate. Today, many students with degree level certificate are unemployed unless for those are holding certificates from prestigious universities. Imagine, if degree holders are already missing out on jobs, how those with only high school or diploma certificate fare? The level of standard and expectation of education has grown to a level where one cannot afford have insufficient education. This has how important education has become.
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Tuesday 8 November 2011
How To Deal With A Lying Child
Teaching children morals and values is one of the toughest elements of parenting. When children lie to their parents, it feels like a major breech of trust. However, the important thing is to keep the focus on the child.
Parents should try not to be too worried or anxious about their child's lying. This behavior is not unusual for children. Sometimes children lie to get out of trouble, and it often works. Generally, lying is not the problem; it is a symptom of an underlying problem.
You need to move away from the idea of 'catching' their child in a lie. It is best if you can focus on the issues making the child lie instead of focusing on the lying part. Try to analyze the situation and figure out what is really bothering him/ her. If a child has only recently started lying, parents should consider if there have been any recent changes in the child's routine, school life, friends or a new sibling. Often lying is a reaction to stress or changes that children have a difficult time handling. Children often respond to stresses by seeking attention through 'acting out.' Children will seek any kind of attention when they feel needy. If parents think that this may be the problem, they should try making arrangements to spend special time alone with the child.
Suggested Solutions
A recommended approach to addressing your child's lying is to sit down and talk with the child, with no distractions. All other important things can wait, after all it is the one thing that you need to deal with now that shall inculcate the values even further, for a lifetime. Besides discussing the lying part, try to uncover what may be causing any anxiety. The child would not really know what's troubling him and it's quite possible that he/she might not be able to connect with this.
Help the child figure out what is stressful to him or her, and offer constructive ways of dealing with it. Try to help the child come up with alternatives to lying. When talking with your child, address the difference between make-believe and reality--lying and telling the truth. Stress to your child the importance of honesty at home and in the community.
Generally the fear of being punished can make the child speak the truth always, but it's also imperative that you don't use these tactics all the time, as children are quick in finding loop holes. Instead of punishing them for mistakes, praise them when they tell you something difficult. The key to changing a child's behavior is giving attention only for positive behavior. Then, reinforce the idea that they can tell you anything and you will always love them.
If your child's behavior continues for several more weeks, you may want to discuss the situation with their pediatrician. It is best to get some sound medical advise while ensuring that you are the best parent for your child!
Ping your blog
Parents should try not to be too worried or anxious about their child's lying. This behavior is not unusual for children. Sometimes children lie to get out of trouble, and it often works. Generally, lying is not the problem; it is a symptom of an underlying problem.
You need to move away from the idea of 'catching' their child in a lie. It is best if you can focus on the issues making the child lie instead of focusing on the lying part. Try to analyze the situation and figure out what is really bothering him/ her. If a child has only recently started lying, parents should consider if there have been any recent changes in the child's routine, school life, friends or a new sibling. Often lying is a reaction to stress or changes that children have a difficult time handling. Children often respond to stresses by seeking attention through 'acting out.' Children will seek any kind of attention when they feel needy. If parents think that this may be the problem, they should try making arrangements to spend special time alone with the child.
Suggested Solutions
A recommended approach to addressing your child's lying is to sit down and talk with the child, with no distractions. All other important things can wait, after all it is the one thing that you need to deal with now that shall inculcate the values even further, for a lifetime. Besides discussing the lying part, try to uncover what may be causing any anxiety. The child would not really know what's troubling him and it's quite possible that he/she might not be able to connect with this.
Help the child figure out what is stressful to him or her, and offer constructive ways of dealing with it. Try to help the child come up with alternatives to lying. When talking with your child, address the difference between make-believe and reality--lying and telling the truth. Stress to your child the importance of honesty at home and in the community.
Generally the fear of being punished can make the child speak the truth always, but it's also imperative that you don't use these tactics all the time, as children are quick in finding loop holes. Instead of punishing them for mistakes, praise them when they tell you something difficult. The key to changing a child's behavior is giving attention only for positive behavior. Then, reinforce the idea that they can tell you anything and you will always love them.
If your child's behavior continues for several more weeks, you may want to discuss the situation with their pediatrician. It is best to get some sound medical advise while ensuring that you are the best parent for your child!
Ping your blog
Tuesday 1 November 2011
How To Cope With A Rebellious Son
Anyone raising a boy needs to remember the toddler years when the word "no" was frequently uttered by your toddler boy. It was a natural and even expected part of that developmental stage. The "no" you hear now might be louder or seem a bit angrier, but pushing the boundaries is as normal with your now-older son as it was when he first was toddling about.
Maybe you are thinking that your son is pushing too many limits. What do you do? Give him the freedom he needs to discover his personality. Otherwise, take a parent-as-coach approach with your son as he sails through some tough waters.
Here are a few things to keep in mind with your rebellious son:
1. Choose your battles.
Sometimes parents need a reminder. In your own mind, know what the real and absolute limits are for your son's behavior. If everything he does is wrong, soon he will know that you have no idea what are your true boundaries for him. Learn to pass on the trivial things. Hair length, clothing and music choices are among the items that you should pass on. His tastes will change as he grows older. In his own good time, he will most likely abandon things that are really foolish.
2. Interfere with life-threatening activities.
Keep a close eye on his activities and get involved when know he is engaged in life-threatening behavior. Shoplifting, prescription-drug abuse and improper use of an automobile are a few of the areas where you will need to intervene. You might be screamed at when you step in. Remember that yelling alone cannot hurt you and his biology makes him ready for a shouting match up if you give him one. A good rule about arguing is to remember that the louder your son becomes, the lower your vocal volume should go.
3. Is his behavior a veiled attempt to communicate?
In a boy whose brain is still forming, rebellious behavior may be a cover for another need. Is that annoyed, defiant boy in front of you using anger or lethargy to cover for his pain? Ask him if you any suspicious. Are his friends mistreating him? Is he struggling with a physical issue such as acne, depression or physical developmental delay? Ask the questions and wait for the answer, which may take days. If he knows you are open to non-judgmental discussion, he will most likely come around. Keep the door open and be sure he knows you are ready to listen and help.
4. Don't be concerned about the opinion of others.
As a parent, you need to do what is right for your children in your particular situation and circumstances. While you might seek the counsel of your own trusted mentors, the opinions of your extended family, in-laws, friends are really are not important. Do not sacrifice the mental health of your son by responding to what "they" think.
Likewise, if your son has moved from simple rebellion (that is, it just makes you uncomfortable) to life-threatening behavior, seek out professional help. You are not alone in your frustration with your son. Parents have struggled with the fun and frustration of raising a boy. Do not take his rebellion personally but consider this part of his life as a discovery journey.
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