Signs You Are Having Smartphone Stress

Being constantly connected is a basic fact of life for millennials: If you're a Gen Y-er, you probably carry around a mini-computer in your pocket at all times, text your friends in bed as you're falling asleep, and check your email within moments of waking in the morning. According to a recent survey, roughly half of young people are actively connected at least 10 hours per day, and one in four are actively connected (checking email, texting, etc) within five minutes of waking up. So how is this 24/7 connectivity affecting your stress levels?

Chances are, your smartphone isn't making you any less stressed -- and in fact, a codependent relationship with your smartphone could be contributing to anxiety in more ways than you realize. A study found that when young people unplugged from technology for just 24 hours, the vast majority reported experiencing physical and mental symptoms of distress. You may joke about being "addicted" to your phone, but unfortunately, the symptoms of technology addiction could really be adding stress to your life.

Here are six signs that your smartphone might be stressing you out:

1. You Have To Respond... Immediately

If unanswered texts or emails get your heart rate going, there's a good chance that your smartphone is adding stress to your life rather than making it easier. Constantly interrupting what you're doing -- whether it's writing a college essay, working in the office or spending some quality time with your friends -- to check your phone might be an indication that your behavior has become compulsive. When you start getting anxious about your inbox, take a moment to step back and remind yourself that it's probably not as urgent as it seems. Sleeping with your phone away from your bed and keeping it in your backpack instead of your pocket can also gradually help to lessen your urge to be constantly checking for new messages.

2. You Have Phantom Cellphone Syndrome

You could have sworn you felt your phone vibrating in your back pocket, but when you took it out, you saw that nothing had happened. Phantom cellphone vibration syndrome is a real sign of technology addiction -- and it's more common than you might think.

3. You Have A Bad Case Of FOMO

Are you constantly thinking about what everyone else is doing and all the things you might be missing out on at any given moment? Does scrolling through party photos and enthusiastic weekend updates on your News Feed make you feel sad or anxious? Well, there's a name for that: FOMO. It's not uncommon for social media and smartphone users to experience a "fear of missing out" when they're unable to get to their phones or when they're getting updates about all the exciting things that everyone in their social network is doing. The best way to combat FOMO is to step back and say no sometimes, and just take sometime to do whatever you want -- not what other people are doing or telling you to do.

4. You're Not Paying Attention To Your Friends & Family

We've all be there -- you're having dinner with friends or family with your phone sitting next to your plate, and instead of ignoring it, you turn your attention away from the conversation to respond to a text. While there's nothing wrong with picking up important calls or excusing yourself to answer messages when necessary -- but if you make a habit of giving only half your attention to the people you're with while the other half is busy checking Twitter, it might be time to rethink your phone habits. To avoid damaging your relationships, make a resolution to give your full attention to whoever you're with in person and save the screen time for later.

5. You Feel Restless When You're Away From Your Phone

If you experience withdrawal when you can't check your phone or respond to messages, you might have a technology addiction. Studies have found that turning off their phones can induce physical and mental withdrawal symptoms similar to those exhibited by drug addicts. If you feel yourself becoming nervous and antsy when you're away from your phone, take note of those feelings and find a coping mechanism -- taking deep breaths, going for a walk or exercising could help you get past the anxiety.

6. Poor Performance In School 

If you're having an increasingly difficult time focusing in class and eagerly await the ringing of the bell so that you can check your phone and return that unanswered text, an Internet or smartphone addiction could be partially to blame for low grades. If the lure of your phone is too powerful for you to concentrate on homework, try downloading an apps that blocks social media activity and online distractions.

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How To Have A Meaningful Conversation

Everybody knows how to have a conversation because they've been having them since they were toddlers. However, most people develop bad habits that almost guarantee that their business conversations will sometimes be meaningless wastes of time.

Here's a simple four step process for making certain that every work conversation that you have is both meaningful and worth having.

1. Know WHY you're having the conversation.

Every conversation must have a point, or there's no point in having it. With friends and family, the "point" is often to simply enjoy each other's company. You already know how to do that. Hey, relax and have fun.

In business, though, there's always an agenda to every conversation, even if it seems as if the conversation is only to "get to know" you better (or vice-versa), until such time as your co-worker becomes a friend or a family member.

Therefore, whenever you start a conversation with a co-worker (and this includes customers, bosses, colleagues, and the guy who empties the trash), have an explicit goal in mind. That way you're less likely to waste time and energy.

Similarly, if somebody opens a conversation with you, it's worthwhile to wonder why the conversation is happening and why now. It's not worth obsessing about, but if you've got a sense of the "why" it's easier to get "where" the conversation needs to go.

2. Ignore your "monkey mind."

The ancient Chinese believed everyone has a "monkey mind" that jumps from thought to thought, like so:

• What is she thinking about me?
• Will I make a sale?
• What if I can't pay the mortgage?
• Gosh, that wallpaper is ugly.
• I've got to get the airport in two hours.
• Etc., etc., etc.

This constant mental noise pulls your attention away from the customer and towards your own perspectives, priorities and goals. If you listen to your "monkey mind," you'll only hear a percentage of what the other person is saying. In all likelihood, you'll misunderstand what was said.

3. Acknowledge what you've heard.

When the other person has finished speaking, re-describe, and characterize what the other person just said. This confirms that you were really listening to the other person, rather than your internal dialog ("monkey mind").

It also prevents you from continuing the conversation based upon a misunderstanding.  The restatement gives the other person an opportunity to correct your perception or elaborate as necessary to make sure that you "get it."

4. Think and then respond.

Pause a moment to consider what you heard and have echoed back. Respond with a statement, story, or question that adds to the conversation and moves it closer to its point and purpose.

Having this kind of conversation is both difficult and easy. It's difficult because some people's "monkey minds" are the size of King Kong and chatter so loudly that they can't hear anything else.

However, once you've learned to ignore the chatter, this way of listening, reflecting, and talking quickly becomes second nature. And that's the easy part.





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Stuffs Smart Traveler Should Know

Here are some thoughts on what makes a good traveler. At it’s base though, no matter where we go there are a few things we should all know to not just make us better travelers, but better people.

1. Wash clothes in a sink – All of us, from luxury to budget travelers will at some point have a laundry emergency and be forced to launder our own clothes effectively and probably quickly.

2. How to use needle and thread –  You never know how and when you’ll need to repair clothes or even luggage, so learn the fundamentals of sewing. Do know the basics of threading a needle and reattaching a button.

3. Where the nearest embassy is – If you’re leaving the country, this is a simple and important thing to know. You never know what will happen, from losing your passport to military coup (less likely) so just do a simple search for the nearest embassy. 

4. To keep an emergency stash of money – Travel can be unpredictable and there are far too many horror stories of theft and loss on the road. Just don’t forget where you put it.

5. Art of haggling – Although for many of us the practice of haggling is an alien concept, it’s a vital skill to possess in many corners of the world.

6. How to say “No, thank you,” wherever they are – You should take the time to learn this phrase in the local language. It will help you a million times from warding off salespeople to buskers. Don’t do things you don’t want to do or waste time on experiences not important to you. 

7. Drive stick shift (manual) – Many of us have been spoiled by automatic transmissions in cars, a feature hard to find in many parts of the world. Learning how to drive stick shift will open up new travel possibilities and will prepare you to travel anywhere in any kind of car, truck or van. 

8. Travel light – No matter where you go and what you do, learning how to be a more efficient packer is a very valuable skill.

9. Swim – Ok, this is more a life skill than purely a travel one, but it’s important. First, you never know when you might need to swim. Be it in an emergency situation or a fun new experience you want to try, swimming is an important travel skill everyone should possess.

10. The basics of geography – To be a good traveler you have to be a smart traveler. Sure, idiots can (and do) travel, but armed with a little knowledge you can dramatically improve your travel experience. At the top of the list of things to know is basics geography. You need not be able to label every country in Africa, just know the major things.

11. How to use a compass – Granted, few of us find ourselves lost in the woods with only a pocketknife and compass to save us. But using a compass is such a basic skill and arguably important at times that we should all know the basic tenets of proper compass use. 

12. Proper use of chopsticks – Chopsticks aren’t just relegated to use in Japan, they’re a popular utensil all over the world thanks to the massive popularity of both sushi and Chinese restaurants. Plus you look cool when you eschew the fork and knife in favor of two wooden sticks.

13. Importance of travel insurance – There’s the practical matter of travel delays and disruptions. There’s a lot we can’t control when we travel, so it pays to be prepared. Also, it’s always possible to have a medical emergency when we’re away from home and unless we have proper insurance in place, it can be a financially debilitating experience. Finally, theft and loss happens everywhere; pick a plan that will protect your fancy gadgets.  

14. That local grocery stores are awesome – One of the favorite ways to learn about local culture quickly is by visiting the nearest grocery store. Instantly you will learn what they eat and what importance they place on certain foods. Grocery stores are also a great place to get cheap snacks, drinks and even meals. 

15. How to change a tire – Many of us will rent a vehicle of some sort when we travel and the chances of getting a flat tire somewhere, anywhere is pretty likely. Instead of being held hostage to roadside assistance, take some time and learn how to change a tire yourself. 

16. Sleep anywhere – So many times we find ourselves in cars, planes, trains or wherever and a few minutes of sleep could mean the difference between sanity and going nuts. If you can tackle this skill, you are on your way to being a travel master. 

17. Three good jokes – The ability to add levity to any situation is a great skill to have, even if some things may be lost in translation. If you’re not a naturally gifted joke teller, take some time to learn a few and keep them in your travel arsenal.

18. Exercises you can do in a hotel room – Staying healthy on the road is difficult, but given how physically taxing travel can be it’s vital to be as healthy as possible. If you can take even ten minutes a day to do yoga or exercise in some way, it will make your travel experience infinitely more enjoyable. 

19. Basic first aid – You never know what will happen or where, which is why it’s smart to be prepared. Take a local first aid class or simply research on line how to do simple things.

20. Take a decent photo – Almost everyone takes photos when they travel, but not everyone takes good photos. You don’t have to have a fancy camera or be an expert to come home with quality photos, so take a few minutes to brush up on the basics.



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How To Have More Patience With Your Kids

Patience is hardly a trait people are born with, so when parents are pressed to care for themselves and their children, it should come as no surprise that patience can wear thin. Fortunately, there are some things you can do to increase your patience, decrease your stress, and better enjoy your parental role and relationship with your kids. 

1. Learn to self-soothe. When your patience is being challenged, put yourself in a mental timeout.  Taking a deep breath in through your nose and blowing it out through your mouth, visualizing a calming and relaxing place, practicing positive self-talk, and turning on classical music can offer an almost instantaneous calming effect, allowing you to work through the situation at hand.
2. Establish you time. If you don’t set aside time for yourself to meet your own physical, spiritual, emotional, creative and intellectual needs, you’ll naturally be short tempered with others. Whether you pencil in an hour each day into your schedule to have time to yourself or set your alarm to wake up a half hour before anyone else to enjoy your coffee and start your morning in peace, meeting your needs will empower you to better be able to meet the needs of others.
3. Set your priorities. Feeling like you’re being pulled in a bunch of different directions can be stressful. More stress translates into less patience. Each week, make a list of your priorities to help guide you through your week.When you have a set of priorities you’re less likely to feel frazzled and stressed.
4. Consider your goals. During times when your patience is wearing thin, keep your eyes on the prize. Consider what lessons you’re trying to instill in your children and what type of relationship you wish to have with them. Letting your goals guide you during your interactions, you’ll find yourself slowing down and wanting to spend the time and energy in the moment you’re in. 
5. Take a break. When you’re feeling overwhelmed, you can watch your patience disappear before your very eyes. In these times, ask your spouse or a friend, or hire a babysitter to step in and care for the children. Even a short window of time can help you regroup and refocus and when you do, your patience will return.
6. Meet your children’s needs. Children who are well-fed and well-rested behave better than those who are not. Better behaved children are less likely to test your patience, so work towards meeting their daily needs to help them from pushing the limits of your patience.
7. Have realistic expectations. Consider the ages and stages of your children and your own abilities and give yourself a break. When you’re aware of your children’s developmental abilities and your own strengths and weaknesses, you’re better able to manage your expectations. Realistic expectations can help you to better manage and extend your patience.

When all else fails, don’t give up. When you’re feeling short on patience or you didn’t extend as much as you would have liked, go easy on yourself and commit to trying again. When it comes down to it, the only way to increase patience is to practice it






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5 Things Parents Shouldn't Let Their Kids Do

Wondering if your parenting is on the right track? While not all parenting strategies will work for all parents, there are definitely some things that all parents should think twice about before letting their children do. 
Think twice before letting your child:

1. Break the rules. Do you let your 12-year-old order off the kid’s menu even if it says it for children under 10? What about Facebook? Does your preteen have an account with Facebook even though their terms of use say he shouldn’t? When you let your children break these types of rules, you’re sending the message that the rules that apply to everyone else do not apply to them. Children who grow up thinking they are above the rules may grow up with an indifference to authority and perhaps even a blatant disrespect for it.
2. Get away with bad behavior. Find it hard to hold back the giggles when your toddler drops the F-bomb? Too tired to consistently enforce behavioral rules? Will you let your child do almost anything as long as you get five minutes of peace and quiet? When you let your child get away with bad behavior you’re reinforcing that the behavior is acceptable, especially if he knows you notice it. Behavior’s that are cute now won’t necessarily be cute when your little one grows up.
3. Be rude to others. While you may not think it’s a big deal if your child constantly interrupts you while you’re on the phone or refuses to look someone in the eye when they’re speaking,  it is. This lack of manners, otherwise called social skills, will impact how your growing child will get along with others as an adolescent and adult. They are absolutely necessary skill to have to do well in school, work and life in general.
4. Think you’re their friend. When it comes to the parent and child relationship, you shouldn’t be your child’s friend, or let her think that you are.Friends are confidants and those who have similar ideas and outlooks on life. Parents shouldn’t confide in their children as children aren’t emotionally able to handle playing the role of confidant. Plus, children and parents often see things differently, like when it’s time to go home from the playground.  Setting limits and guiding behavior is an important and functional part of parenting.
5. Develop a sense of entitlement. Children who have a sense of entitlement feel that everyone owes them everything. They tend to be selfish and think whenever something doesn’t go their way it’s not fair. As they grow up, these children expect people to do what they say and get what they want when they say it and when they want it. If this distorted sense isn’t corrected, it can be problematic in the children’s relationships and interactions with others. To deflate this sense of entitlement, parents can teach their children the value of hard work and giving back to others and by setting limits on what they give their kids.

While there are many things you can and should do as parents, these are some of the things you shouldn’t. If you keep your kids from doing these five things, you’re definitely heading down the right parenting path.




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