At some point, every parent will start to get grunts and nods when asking their kids simple questions, like “How was school today?” or “What would you like to do this afternoon?” Separating from parents and keeping more and more of their thoughts and feelings to themselves is a natural stage kids go through, but that doesn’t make any less difficult for parents to endure. It also doesn’t have to be the natural progression of the parent/child relationship. It takes some extra time and effort, but you can stay close to your child. Here are some ways to keep the lines of communication open.
!1) Avoid questions that start with why.
It’s often surprising how regularly we question rather than converse with kids. Kids often get defensive as soon as they hear the word “why.” Instead of opening up the lines of communication, asking questions like “Why did you do that?” can make the child feel like there’s a right and wrong answer, even when it’s asked with a genuine interest. Instead, ask questions that will encourage your child to share his thoughts, feelings and motivations.
2) Ask open ended questions.
We often ask questions looking for specific information. Wonderful things can happen when we don’t have a specific agenda and instead welcome wherever the conversation may lead. Questions like “What was the best part of your day?” or “What was the funniest thing that happened today?” make kids think outside the box and often gives you a great jumping off place for a deeper conversation.
3) Resist the urge to offer advice or solutions.
Whenever a parent learns that his child is struggling with a problem, even a small one, his first instinct is to jump in and offer advice and a solution. Even when you offer your child great suggestions, jumping into a problem solving mode often turns the conversation into what feels like a lecture. When your child is facing a problem or struggling with how to handle a tough situation, use that opportunity to connect. Ask him about how he sees things, how he feels about what’s happening, what he sees as his choices, and what he thinks the results of those choices would be. By creating a safe space for your child to work through his thoughts and feelings, you’re strengthening your relationship and helping your child develop valuable critical thinking and problem solving skills.
4) Talk on their timetable.
Sometimes it seems that kids want to talk at the worst possible moments. Your daughter wants to give you all the details of an argument she had with her best friend when you’re trying to finish a big presentation for work. Your son wants to ask you about joining the hockey team when you’re rushing to help your 6th grader finish a science project that’s due the next day. You only have so much time and energy, and often there is just not enough of it to go around. Unfortunately, as children get older the times when they initiate a meaningful conversation get fewer and fewer, so take advantage of the opportunities you’re given whenever possible. If you have to postpone a conversation, let your child know why and pick a specific time to finish the conversation.
5) Plan time to connect.
Your child is much more likely to open up to you when connection and conversation are an integrated part of your relationship. From an early age, spend one on one time with your child on a regular basis. This is a great way to get to know your child outside the hustle and bustle of family life and it gives you the chance to create special memories together. That regular one on one time early on can make it much easier to continue to connect as they get older.
6) Take advantage of small windows of time.
Not every conversation needs to be a sit down, face to face talk. In fact, many of the best conversations won’t be. Take advantage of the time you and your child spend in the car driving to and from activities, getting ready for bed, cooking dinner over the weekend, or shopping for school clothes. Talking while involved in another activity creates a no pressure environment to talk with each other. Of course it’s important to carve out time when you’re focused on each other as well, however, in between those times try to take advantage of the many chances you have every day to connect and talk.
It’s important to both you and your child to connect and talk with each other. Although the parent/child relationship naturally changes as your child gets older, you can still have a close connection through the years.
Blog Ping Site
http://www.blogpingsite.com
HyperSmash.com
Thursday 28 February 2013
Wednesday 20 February 2013
How To Raise Your Child's EQ
When children are able to effectively communicate their feelings and manage their emotions they grow into adults who are able to do the same. Children who have a high Emotional Intelligence Quota, or EQ, have a strong sense of self-worth, are sensitive and empathetic towards others, and can identify, regulate and talk about their own feelings and emotions in a constructive way.
Since children with a high EQ tend to express their emotions, parents and caregivers are better able to meet their needs. When a child’s needs are met, they tend to demonstrate more desirable behaviors and are more pleasant to be around.
By raising your child’s emotional IQ, you will be raising a child who will behave better, find it easier to get along with others, and have better academic and career success.
Start raising your child’s emotional intelligence by:
BlogPingSite HyperSmash Blog Ping Site
Since children with a high EQ tend to express their emotions, parents and caregivers are better able to meet their needs. When a child’s needs are met, they tend to demonstrate more desirable behaviors and are more pleasant to be around.
By raising your child’s emotional IQ, you will be raising a child who will behave better, find it easier to get along with others, and have better academic and career success.
Start raising your child’s emotional intelligence by:
- Meeting his needs. When a child’s needs are met he develops a sense of self-worth and self-esteem. When children feel good about themselves they’re better able to treat themselves and others well. Even when your child is a baby, feeding him when he’s hungry, reassuring him it’s time to rest when he’s tired, and holding him when he needs comforting will contribute to raising his emotional IQ.
- Empowering him to self-soothe. Giving children the tools they need to manage their own feelings and emotions is an important part of raising their emotional IQ. Teaching a child to fall asleep on his own, take deep breaths when he’s upset, and think happy thoughts when he’s feeling nervous or scared can help him learn to work through his emotions.
- Helping him to identify and label emotions. Helping children put words to feelings and emotions can provide a way for them to better express themselves. Draw various faces and label them with emotions to help your child learn to recognize different emotions in himself and others.
- Validating feelings. Children have the need to be understood. Saying something like “I know you’re mad Jack knocked over your tower. It’s okay to be mad, but when we are mad we say ‘I’m mad’, we don’t hit” will go a long way in helping your child to feel that you understand what he’s feeling and will provide him with a more appropriate means of expressing those feelings.
- Encouraging self-expression. Children can be afraid of the power of their feelings. When they act out around those they love it’s because they feel safe and secure in doing so. Listening to your child and being there for him helps him learn to accept and process his feelings. Once he has done that, he’s able to resolve them and move out of the moment.
- Empathizing with your child. As you give empathy to your child, your child will learn to extend empathy to others. Being able to really experience and relate to what someone else is feeling is an important life skill that triggers compassion and action.
- Encouraging problem solving. When children learn to problem solve, they learn to have confidence in their ability to handle issues and to find solutions to their own problems and those of others. Brainstorming and working together to solve simple problems, like finding a missing shoe, to more complex problems, like how to help those less fortunate, empower children to drive to their own destiny.
BlogPingSite HyperSmash Blog Ping Site
Friday 15 February 2013
How To Super Charge Your Energy At Work
You may have read the stats. Workplace productivity is up and employment is down. That can only mean that fewer people are in the workplace but now they have to work harder and longer. No wonder so many people are always tired and sucking down coffee and energy drinks.
Since there are still only 24 hours in a day you not only have to be more productive, but also maintain high energy and stay happy. Otherwise you'll drag yourself down, end up a miserable, grumpy, scrooge, and take a lot of folks with you on the way. The demands of work are keeping people so busy these days sometimes they forget the simple things that make them feel energized. Here are some tips to keep your energy soaring that don't require the use of drugs or an unlimited Starbucks card.
Since there are still only 24 hours in a day you not only have to be more productive, but also maintain high energy and stay happy. Otherwise you'll drag yourself down, end up a miserable, grumpy, scrooge, and take a lot of folks with you on the way. The demands of work are keeping people so busy these days sometimes they forget the simple things that make them feel energized. Here are some tips to keep your energy soaring that don't require the use of drugs or an unlimited Starbucks card.
1. Start Your Day With a Workout
You would think a big workout would make you tired, but actually getting that blood pumping first thing will keep you going for the day. Don't forget a good breakfast as well, solid fuel to stoke the day's fire.
2. Take a 20-minute Power Nap
Of course you don't want your colleagues to see you sleeping on the job, but studies have shown that a brief power nap can help revitalize you for the whole day.
3. Remove All Personal Grudges
All that emotional baggage takes its toll day in and day out. Whether it's anger you feel for a coworker or even someone who is distant from work, the emotions can be distracting and absorb energy. We like to think we can ignore the feelings, but often we just mask them and that takes energy in and of itself. Make a list of your grudges and commit time to reconcile each of them until they are gone. Soon you'll feel like someone added minutes to your clock every day.
4. Take a 15-minute Humor Break
Laughter is a natural energizer. Those endorphins from chuckles are as good for you as a solid workout. Sign up for the joke of the day, or cruise YouTube for some funny videos. Grab some colleagues and have a joke pow-wow. You'll lighten the atmosphere all around, and help everyone feel good about the rest of the day. This is a good one for 2:30 in the afternoon when the classic after lunch doze is coming on.
5. Take a 15-minute Walk
Sometimes we just need to get out. It doesn't matter if the weather is hot, cold or rainy, getting up from that chair and computer can rejuvenate your body and your mind. Leave the smartphone behind as well. Stretch, breath and take in the outdoors to feel refreshed and awake.
6. Read Something Fun During Lunch
A little escape is good to clear the mind and reset your energy. Short stories are my favorite for lunch breaks. Not only are they entertaining, but finishing one at lunch gives you a sense of completion which helps boost your confidence to get back and fight through the day.
7. Resolve Any Conflicts With Your Boss or Colleagues
Concern over conflict can eat away at your attention and tire you quickly. Don't hold back. Confront issues head on. If you are open, empathetic, and diplomatic in your approach you may forge a closer bond that will make coming days easier to enjoy.
8. Do Something Nice For a Colleague
Energy is easily transmitted from person to person. This tip helps on so many levels. It's energizing to think about someone else, the actual act of giving creates a natural high, and of course gratitude provides plenty of energy as well. Try this for a week and feel the surprising buzz.
9. Call a Good Friend and Chat for 15 Minutes
Nothing perks up my day more than time with a close friend. Whether it's quick catch up, or a chance to vent some of the day's frustrations, this short, fun reconnect will recharge your batteries and give you the support required to battle any tough day. The best part is that you will give your friend the same benefit.
10. Make Sure Your Work Activity is Fulfilling
If you hate what you do then none of my suggestions and no amount of caffeine will energize you enough to grind out depressing workdays continuously. Find a way to get paid doing what you enjoy. No need to make yourself and everyone around you miserable. Life is short and you are entitled to enjoy every day of it.
Blog Ping Site
www.blogpingsite.com
www.hypersmash.com
Tuesday 5 February 2013
How To Sleep Like A Baby
Did you know that 65% of the population will have trouble falling asleep tonight? If you are in this percentage, you may suffer tomorrow by not being able to focus.
It is said that the average person needs at least 8 hours of sleep a night to be at their peak. This is 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Tossing and turning do not count as sleep, so if you suffer from this, read on to find out how you can get the sleep you deserve and dream of, waking up feeling well rested. It really is possible to sleep like a baby at any age, just follow a few simple tips and tricks that have worked for many.
1. Develop a Pattern
The first step to ensure that you will sleep like a baby is developing a sleeping pattern. This means that you will need to go to bed at the same time every night and wake up at the same time every morning. This means even on weekends. Many people bank on the weekends when they can sleep in to make up for the lost sleep they have missed out on over the course of the week, but this will only mess up your sleeping patterns. Pick a bed time, as well as a wake up time and stick with it.
2. Exercise
We all know that exercise will help us lead a healthy life. But it can also make our sleep better. When we sleep, our body is recovering any joints and muscles that it has used that day. Be sure to exercise in the morning or afternoon. Exercise done in the evening hours may keep you awake even longer than before. Aim for 20 to 30 minutes a day of exercise.
3. Reserve the Bed For Sleep Only
Your bed should only be used for sleep. Never read in bed, do work, watch TV in bed, work on your laptop, or anything else. If you are using your bed for other activities, your body may have a hard time shutting itself down to go to sleep right away.
4. Sleep In a Cool Room
Optimal room temperature in a bedroom is between 60 to 68 degrees. Many keep their bedrooms too warm, causing restless sleep. A cooler room will mimic your natural temperature drop in your body, so it is recommended to lower the thermostat.
5. Sleep in Complete Darkness
Light will interfere with your internal clock. Even the smallest amount can mess with it, such as your alarm clock. It is best to sleep in a room that has no light source on. Close all blinds, cover up your alarm clock, and shut the door to avoid any lights that may interfere with your sleep.
6. Avoid Sugary Snacks Before Bed
Eating sugar will raise your blood sugars, so it is best to avoid these before bed time. A higher blood sugar can delay your sleep.
7. Wear Socks to Bed
Wearing socks to bed can help you sleep better. Wearing socks may reduce the number of times that you wake up in the middle of the night. Wearing socks will allow your feet to be warmer since they are often the coldest part of your body during rest.
8. Take a Hot Shower Before Bedtime
Taking a hot shower right before rest will signal to your body that it is rest time. Your body’s temperature will fall, aiding sleep.
9. Cut Down on the Noise
If you have a noisy bedroom, chances are you are not sleeping as good as you could. Keep the noise turned down. If noise is needed to fall asleep, use soft, gentle music.
10. Do Some Gentle Stretches
Before getting into bed for the night, do a few gentle stretches. This will help you fall asleep quickly and stay asleep.
11. Check Your Mattress
Check your mattress to make sure that it is the right one for you. If the mattress is too hard or too soft, you will not get the best sleep. Your mattress should give you the right support, and when you lay on it, it should take your body weight easily as well as the shape of your body. If it does not, you may need to invest in a new mattress.
12. Say No To Alcohol
Avoid any alcohol before bedtime. Stay away from any alcoholic beverage a few hours before bedtime. Alcohol will interfere with your sleep quality, waking you up in the middle of the night.
13. If You Smoke, Stop
Smokers often have night withdrawal, making it harder for them to get to sleep. The nicotine also disrupts your sleep.
14. Do Not Nap During the Day
Napping during the day will disrupt your sleep at night. It can make it very hard to fall asleep, or even create insomnia.
15. Unwind Before Bedtime
Do not take your troubles to bed with you. Instead focus on leaving them somewhere so you do not stew over them in the night. You could have a “trouble tree” assigned where before bed you can tell the tree your troubles and then forget about them until the next day.
16. Lay Off on the Caffeine
Just as alcohol interferes with your sleep, caffeine does as well. Steer clear of any drinks with caffeine at least 3 hours before bedtime.
17. Avoid Large Meals at Night
Avoid any large meal at night. Instead make lunch your largest meal of the day. Large meals will interfere with sleep due to indigestion.
18. Consider Separate Beds
If you have a sleeping partner, you may not be sleeping as well as you could. You may wake up due to them snoring or moving around in the bed. If snoring keeps you awake, separate rooms may be the route to go but if movement is the issue, separate beds will help maintain sleep quality.
19. Drink Something to Induce Sleep
Some beverages are known to make one sleepy. Try sipping on a cup of warmed milk before bed, or a mug of hot herbal tea. Stay away from the caffeinated teas, as this may keep you awake even longer.
20. Clean Your Bedroom
A clean bedroom is much easier to fall asleep in than an untidy one. If your room is cluttered, it can affect your sleep.
Getting the sleep your body craves and needs is not hard. We often wonder why babies sleep so well. They are not surrounded by the daily stresses that we have, nor do they indulge in foods and beverages that are not good for them. We often keep their rooms noise and light free and they often have their feet covered.
Think like a baby and you shall sleep like a baby all night long.
HyperSmash Ping site Blog Ping Site
It is said that the average person needs at least 8 hours of sleep a night to be at their peak. This is 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Tossing and turning do not count as sleep, so if you suffer from this, read on to find out how you can get the sleep you deserve and dream of, waking up feeling well rested. It really is possible to sleep like a baby at any age, just follow a few simple tips and tricks that have worked for many.
1. Develop a Pattern
The first step to ensure that you will sleep like a baby is developing a sleeping pattern. This means that you will need to go to bed at the same time every night and wake up at the same time every morning. This means even on weekends. Many people bank on the weekends when they can sleep in to make up for the lost sleep they have missed out on over the course of the week, but this will only mess up your sleeping patterns. Pick a bed time, as well as a wake up time and stick with it.
2. Exercise
We all know that exercise will help us lead a healthy life. But it can also make our sleep better. When we sleep, our body is recovering any joints and muscles that it has used that day. Be sure to exercise in the morning or afternoon. Exercise done in the evening hours may keep you awake even longer than before. Aim for 20 to 30 minutes a day of exercise.
3. Reserve the Bed For Sleep Only
Your bed should only be used for sleep. Never read in bed, do work, watch TV in bed, work on your laptop, or anything else. If you are using your bed for other activities, your body may have a hard time shutting itself down to go to sleep right away.
4. Sleep In a Cool Room
Optimal room temperature in a bedroom is between 60 to 68 degrees. Many keep their bedrooms too warm, causing restless sleep. A cooler room will mimic your natural temperature drop in your body, so it is recommended to lower the thermostat.
5. Sleep in Complete Darkness
Light will interfere with your internal clock. Even the smallest amount can mess with it, such as your alarm clock. It is best to sleep in a room that has no light source on. Close all blinds, cover up your alarm clock, and shut the door to avoid any lights that may interfere with your sleep.
6. Avoid Sugary Snacks Before Bed
Eating sugar will raise your blood sugars, so it is best to avoid these before bed time. A higher blood sugar can delay your sleep.
7. Wear Socks to Bed
Wearing socks to bed can help you sleep better. Wearing socks may reduce the number of times that you wake up in the middle of the night. Wearing socks will allow your feet to be warmer since they are often the coldest part of your body during rest.
8. Take a Hot Shower Before Bedtime
Taking a hot shower right before rest will signal to your body that it is rest time. Your body’s temperature will fall, aiding sleep.
9. Cut Down on the Noise
If you have a noisy bedroom, chances are you are not sleeping as good as you could. Keep the noise turned down. If noise is needed to fall asleep, use soft, gentle music.
10. Do Some Gentle Stretches
Before getting into bed for the night, do a few gentle stretches. This will help you fall asleep quickly and stay asleep.
11. Check Your Mattress
Check your mattress to make sure that it is the right one for you. If the mattress is too hard or too soft, you will not get the best sleep. Your mattress should give you the right support, and when you lay on it, it should take your body weight easily as well as the shape of your body. If it does not, you may need to invest in a new mattress.
12. Say No To Alcohol
Avoid any alcohol before bedtime. Stay away from any alcoholic beverage a few hours before bedtime. Alcohol will interfere with your sleep quality, waking you up in the middle of the night.
13. If You Smoke, Stop
Smokers often have night withdrawal, making it harder for them to get to sleep. The nicotine also disrupts your sleep.
14. Do Not Nap During the Day
Napping during the day will disrupt your sleep at night. It can make it very hard to fall asleep, or even create insomnia.
15. Unwind Before Bedtime
Do not take your troubles to bed with you. Instead focus on leaving them somewhere so you do not stew over them in the night. You could have a “trouble tree” assigned where before bed you can tell the tree your troubles and then forget about them until the next day.
16. Lay Off on the Caffeine
Just as alcohol interferes with your sleep, caffeine does as well. Steer clear of any drinks with caffeine at least 3 hours before bedtime.
17. Avoid Large Meals at Night
Avoid any large meal at night. Instead make lunch your largest meal of the day. Large meals will interfere with sleep due to indigestion.
18. Consider Separate Beds
If you have a sleeping partner, you may not be sleeping as well as you could. You may wake up due to them snoring or moving around in the bed. If snoring keeps you awake, separate rooms may be the route to go but if movement is the issue, separate beds will help maintain sleep quality.
19. Drink Something to Induce Sleep
Some beverages are known to make one sleepy. Try sipping on a cup of warmed milk before bed, or a mug of hot herbal tea. Stay away from the caffeinated teas, as this may keep you awake even longer.
20. Clean Your Bedroom
A clean bedroom is much easier to fall asleep in than an untidy one. If your room is cluttered, it can affect your sleep.
Getting the sleep your body craves and needs is not hard. We often wonder why babies sleep so well. They are not surrounded by the daily stresses that we have, nor do they indulge in foods and beverages that are not good for them. We often keep their rooms noise and light free and they often have their feet covered.
Think like a baby and you shall sleep like a baby all night long.
HyperSmash Ping site Blog Ping Site
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)