Saturday 31 March 2012
How to Help Your Kids Get Organized
It can seem as though your kids are not making any effort at keeping their rooms from becoming messy when all you can see in the rooms they use is clutter. But, often the real reason for the mess is just that children need to learn how to organize.
Organization, like any skill, must be learned. When you make an effort to assist your kids in learning some simple ways to stay organized, you may be amazed at the difference it makes in the cleanliness of their rooms. Follow these quick tips to give your kids the skills they need to keep their rooms and lives free of clutter and mess.
Use Shelves Rather Than Toy Boxes
When kids use boxes for storing toys, their belongings will necessarily become mixed up and disorganized. Even though you may be tempted to let your children clean their rooms by dumping items in a toy box, doing so will only make more messes to clean up. When your kids are looking for a favorite play item, they will often need to dump the storage box completely in order to find what they are looking for. In addition, your kids’ toys are much more likely to break or lose parts with this messy storage method.
A solution for this problem is to use low shelves against the walls of the room rather than a toy box for toy storage. This will make it much easier for your children to keep their belongings in order and will encourage caring for their things as this storage method is also a manner of display. In addition, storage shelf units will help your child see the choices of toys available to play with at a glance when playtime arrives.
Control Paper Work Chaos
Many children have trouble organizing paper work. They often have lots of paperwork from school as well as giant collections of their own artwork, all contributing to creating much more chaos in a room than might actually be there. The first step is to assist your child in collecting and then sorting all the pieces of paper in their bedroom.
Give them a filing cabinet or container to neatly store their school work. Or if your child is a prolific artist, decorate their bedroom walls with their own artwork that has been put in picture frames rather than leave pieces of creative art to remain in a pile of paper mess. Most children will be very proud of a clean orderly room as well as the fact that you want to display and honor their artwork.
Once the paper mess is controlled by organizing techniques such as the school file and art work displays, you will find it is much simpler for your child to maintain this order in their room. School papers will be filed and works of art in picture frames will be able to be replaced with new works of art as they are available. Your child’s artwork may also be used to decorate many other places in your home.
Shed Excess “Stuff”
Sometimes when you help your child learn to organize their room you discover that they simply own more “stuff” than they need. For kids who have an excess of toys, encourage them to select toys they no longer use to give to a favorite charitable organization. Make a habit of doing this regularly as your child outgrows toys.
Remember to take this opportunity to discard or recycle any toys you find that have broken pieces. Then, practice the whole process again either prior to or following your child’s next birthday or holiday celebration, so that you can make space for any additional toys they will be given.
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Wednesday 28 March 2012
Why Parents should Educate their Kids about Tech
How young is too young for a child to have a cell phone?
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With the average preschooler now more able to play a video game than ride a bike or tie a shoe, and with three-quarters of all middle school- and high
school-age kids already owning a phone, it's an increasingly difficult
question for today's digital parent to answer. And it might not even be the most meaningful one.
From growing issues like
cyberbullying, cyberbaiting and sexting to rising concerns over Internet
safety, cybercrime, and the over-sharing of personal information
online, today's family clearly faces a uniquely 21st-century set of
digital challenges.
For families in today's
rampantly digital world, perhaps the better question is: What are we
doing to prepare kids for life in an age of 24/7 connectivity? With 70%
of parents believing that schools should do more to educate children
about online safety and four-fifths of teachers agreeing that more
in-school programs of its type are needed, the answer may be "not nearly
enough."
For parents trying to
raise kids and give them the technology to be successful, yet also
protect them, there's a sense that no one's there to tell folks what
steps to take. Schools maybe distributing information and educating (families),
but ultimately, parents have a huge role to play (in the process).
Today's kids are being
trained to use every gadget imaginable but not to consider those
devices' extraordinary impact -- good and bad -- on our lives. Given the
speed at which technology moves and how slow parents have been to
react, a lot of them must play catchup.
The biggest threat on
the Internet today is parents that are not involved in their children's
use of technology. It takes a unified effort to keep kids safe on the Internet (that) has
to begin with parents, because it has to start really young. But laying the
responsibility for teaching digital citizenship solely at families' feet
would be a mistake. It also has to be a part of ongoing
education. Kids as young as 2 now commonly use
smartphones and other technological devices.
Capable of enlightening
nations and empowering individuals, the Web can be an energizing force
for good. But with this power comes responsibility. Consider the meteoric rise of social networks and how they shape our children's experiences. Only six years ago, before Facebook opened to the general public, the term "friend" typically described neighborhood pals and schoolmates. Today, it can just as
easily reference hundreds of peers, potential crushes or even random
strangers. Our kids interact online with these people, some of whom we
will never meet.
Of course, social
networks can also be a perfectly safe and fun way for teens to share
ideas and form healthy relationships. It's all in how they're used. But when it comes to technology's evolving platforms and ethical codes,
parents don't always know best. Adults struggle to keep up with the
shifting rules of online etiquette and information sharing. Some
parents are also actively lying to help underage kids join Facebook and other
networks, unwittingly exposing them to online bullying.
Alas, no nationally
recognized standard or training system exists to teach kids how to
navigate the Web. A formalized online-safety course structure and
digital-citizenship certification program could be the answer. Under such a scenario,
starting at the pre-K level, experts would provide hands-on in-school
instruction using tablets, touchscreen PCs and Web browsers. Take-home
worksheets, online tutorials and interactive activities (delivered via
app, downloadable guide or website) could provide added teaching and
discussion points for families.
Online forums could
connect parents and kids to technology and health-care professionals.
And experts could build a database of answers to common tech-safety
questions for parents. That would only be the
beginning, however. One logical next step would be creating a network of
local chapters capable of providing support for families facing issues
like cyberbullying and Web addiction. The big question is no longer whether these guides will be introduced. Experts say it's simply when.
We should encourage creating a holistic "culture of responsibility" when it
comes to educating children about Internet safety. Under such a
scenario, multiple aspects of society all contribute to keeping kids
safe. Such a program starts at
the top, with the government creating laws and providing a safe
framework for families. It also includes members of law enforcement
doing their part to monitor and catch online predators.
But while educators can stay ahead of Web trends and help guide kids to safety, they can't do it alone. It's ultimately
up to parents and their children to maintain running conversations,
establish house rules and make wise choices on the Web. With technology
entrenched in our lives, we can no longer afford to simply ignore this.
The Internet's potential to improve our kids' lives is boundless. But
leaving children, and their parents, unprepared to navigate its pitfalls
just doesn't compute.
Wednesday 21 March 2012
What to Do When Your Kid Hates School
You see your
child after school and greet him with your usual question: "How was your
day?" He blurts out a dreaded answer: "I hate school!" Most
students dislike school every so often, whether it's because of
classmates making fun of them during lunch or a particularly difficult
science project, or simply because it's taking away from their playtime.
But it's an entirely different matter when a child makes a marked and sudden blanket statement about hating school. It's possible that the problem will resolve itself on its own in a few days. But you might need to take some extra steps to resolve the underlying issue. Of course, you can't take your child away from school entirely. But you can figure out what the problem is and find ways to address it
Common Problems
Experts have observed some common reasons for children to express a hatred of school. Many kids who dislike the classroom aren't being taught in a way that matches how they learn. A lot of children experience school as a place where they are forced to sit in uncomfortable chairs, learn material based on the fact that it's included in standardized tests, and are told what they need to do better instead of what they are good at.
They don't hate the learning part. They don't hate their teachers. No kid wants to be told that his brain is broken.
School can be a difficult place for kids who learn by speaking aloud but are constantly told to be quiet in class, or restless children who are forced to sit in desks for much of the day. For these children, the real culprit is a mismatch between how they learn and how their teachers teach. Kindergartners often say they hate school about a month after starting class. After the first few weeks, the novelty wears off.
What started out as a fun diversion – a chance to ride the school bus and spend the day with other kids – can begin to feel like drudgery once a kindergartner realizes he has to go to school every day. Until children hit first or second grade, they are more suited to the cozy, protective environment of home than the classroom's pressure to succeed academically. Fortunately, kindergartners who are simply having trouble adjusting to school often settle quite quickly.
If the problem occurs later in the school year, though, other forces are probably at work. Perhaps your child is having difficulty learning – some young children aren't yet ready to handle academics. There might also be tension between your child and his teacher or a classmate. There's something in that classroom that's not right.
What to Do
The simplest way to learn why your child doesn't like school is to ask. Pose open-ended questions. Ask them, 'What would you do to make it better? What would make you like school? The answer will likely point you toward the real problem.
Also observed your child's personality and how he learns. With your help, he can begin to take charge of his own success by finding a way to tackle his homework in a way that matches his learning style. A child who learns by talking would benefit from having a study buddy who can help him talk through his assignments.
A child who learns through movement should be encouraged to wiggle or tap his feet. Helping your child adapt to his classroom is an important lesson in itself, because he will spend the rest of his life with people who function differently than he does. In any case, if your child spends more than two or three weeks saying he hates school, set up an appointment with his teacher. Ask for the teacher's observations.
A young child who is having trouble adjusting to the classroom might benefit from an occasional day at home or a switch from a full-day to a half-day kindergarten class – not much of an adjustment if it is made just a few weeks into the year. Or you can make your child feel better with small reminders of home, like a note from you in his lunch box.
Eventually, the clear solution to your child's dislike of school might be to switch him to a new classroom or teacher. But chances are that step won't be necessary. If you and the teacher work together, and if you continue you to communicate with your child throughout the process, school can turn into a place where your child will be happy, and thrive.
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But it's an entirely different matter when a child makes a marked and sudden blanket statement about hating school. It's possible that the problem will resolve itself on its own in a few days. But you might need to take some extra steps to resolve the underlying issue. Of course, you can't take your child away from school entirely. But you can figure out what the problem is and find ways to address it
Common Problems
Experts have observed some common reasons for children to express a hatred of school. Many kids who dislike the classroom aren't being taught in a way that matches how they learn. A lot of children experience school as a place where they are forced to sit in uncomfortable chairs, learn material based on the fact that it's included in standardized tests, and are told what they need to do better instead of what they are good at.
They don't hate the learning part. They don't hate their teachers. No kid wants to be told that his brain is broken.
School can be a difficult place for kids who learn by speaking aloud but are constantly told to be quiet in class, or restless children who are forced to sit in desks for much of the day. For these children, the real culprit is a mismatch between how they learn and how their teachers teach. Kindergartners often say they hate school about a month after starting class. After the first few weeks, the novelty wears off.
What started out as a fun diversion – a chance to ride the school bus and spend the day with other kids – can begin to feel like drudgery once a kindergartner realizes he has to go to school every day. Until children hit first or second grade, they are more suited to the cozy, protective environment of home than the classroom's pressure to succeed academically. Fortunately, kindergartners who are simply having trouble adjusting to school often settle quite quickly.
If the problem occurs later in the school year, though, other forces are probably at work. Perhaps your child is having difficulty learning – some young children aren't yet ready to handle academics. There might also be tension between your child and his teacher or a classmate. There's something in that classroom that's not right.
What to Do
The simplest way to learn why your child doesn't like school is to ask. Pose open-ended questions. Ask them, 'What would you do to make it better? What would make you like school? The answer will likely point you toward the real problem.
Also observed your child's personality and how he learns. With your help, he can begin to take charge of his own success by finding a way to tackle his homework in a way that matches his learning style. A child who learns by talking would benefit from having a study buddy who can help him talk through his assignments.
A child who learns through movement should be encouraged to wiggle or tap his feet. Helping your child adapt to his classroom is an important lesson in itself, because he will spend the rest of his life with people who function differently than he does. In any case, if your child spends more than two or three weeks saying he hates school, set up an appointment with his teacher. Ask for the teacher's observations.
A young child who is having trouble adjusting to the classroom might benefit from an occasional day at home or a switch from a full-day to a half-day kindergarten class – not much of an adjustment if it is made just a few weeks into the year. Or you can make your child feel better with small reminders of home, like a note from you in his lunch box.
Eventually, the clear solution to your child's dislike of school might be to switch him to a new classroom or teacher. But chances are that step won't be necessary. If you and the teacher work together, and if you continue you to communicate with your child throughout the process, school can turn into a place where your child will be happy, and thrive.
Sunday 18 March 2012
When Good Kids Become Bad Teenagers
When your little angel is lying asleep in his or her crib at night, the last thing on your mind as you gaze down at your baby’s adorable sleeping image is what you might be facing down the road and how you will deal with bad teen behavior. Unfortunately, bad behavior is something most parents spend most nights worrying about once the teen years start, and sometimes even sooner. If you are tired of having sleepless nights worrying about bad teen behavior, there are things you can do NOW that can make a difference.
The worst part about living in the entitlement mentality society we live in is that it often is the very culprit that leads to bad teen behavior. Teens see adults misbehaving and getting away with it. Company execs can run a company into the ground and still walk away with millions. Politicians can make costly mistakes and still get reelected. People can make an error and then sue someone else to recover from it. Perhaps we shouldn’t be too surprised at bad teen behavior, but if you want to turn it around with your teen, it’s not too late.
If you’re dealing with bad teen behavior in your teen there are some definitive steps you can follow to help change your teen’s attitude:
1. Talk More. Talking to your teen sends a message that you care. Even if you are talking about what will happen with that company exec or that politician, explaining that there are ramifications for their poor choices even if we don’t always hear about them in the news, you can have an impact. Talking is where it starts. Talk to your teen about his or her bad teen behavior; make sure your teens know that every choice they make about how to behave has a consequence. Tie privilege to behavior. If your teen is disrespectful and rude, refuses to do chores or respect curfew, is verbally abusive, or exhibits any other bad teen behavior, then your teen doesn’t deserve to have time out with friends on Friday night, a cell phone, or video games.
2. Set the Right Example. Bad teen behavior is learned. If your teen sees you trying to avoid taking responsibility for your mistakes, blaming others, or behaving poorly that’s the type of behavior they will mimic. If, on the other hand, they hear you apologize when you make a mistake, hear you take responsibility when something goes wrong, and see you treat others with respect, they’ll learn to do the same.
3. Consistency and Follow and Through. Making threats never works, and neither does yelling. If anything, the bad teen behavior will increase because your teen will lose respect for you. Instead, be calm, clear, and firm. Walk away rather than engage in fights. Set boundaries and stick with them. If your teen makes a choice to be disrespectful or break a rule and you’ve indicated that choice will have a consequence (no phone, no going out on the weekend) stick with it, follow through, and make sure the consequence is experienced.
Bad teen behavior is not something you can completely eradicate. As teens, it’s their job to push limits and test boundaries. But you can keep the behavior at a tolerable limit with a few changes in approach. Ping your blog www.Hypersmash.com hosting coupon webpage
Wednesday 14 March 2012
Teach Your Child to Be a Millionaire
It is fairly common for people to believe that you have to be a big shot
business owner or somebody famous to have lots of money. However,
surveys show that most millionaires today are normal every day people
who worked hard, spent frugally, saved and invested well.
The sooner children learn the principles of managing money wisely the better their chances of amassing a small fortune. So what are the most important things young people need to know about money? Depending on who you ask, this list could get rather lengthy, but these top 6 things children need to be taught in order to do well financially.
1. Teach children to save more than they spend. Money spent on "wants" should not exceed the amount of money saved. For example, if allowance is $10 per week and your child’s want to buy an item for $8, explain to them that they really can’t afford it because they would only be saving $2. But if they hold off for one more week they will have a total of $20, then they can spend $8 and still have $12 in their pocket.
2. Teach children the principle of money earning money. Open up a savings account for them to deposit their allowance into. When the bank statement arrives explain earned interest and point out that there is more money in the account now than what they originally deposited. Once they grasp the concept of earning interest introduce them to more sophisticated ways of getting a return on their money.
3. Teach children how to earn extra money. If their regular allowance is based on a specific set of chores,
from time to time throw in a special project and reward them with some extra cash for doing it. This will teach them that when you do more than the normal workload it results in receiving a little more. Later in life, this may translate into them seeking opportunities to work overtime or take on part time side jobs to earn a little extra cash.
4. Teach children that money is all around us. This will help them develop an entrepreneurial mindset. There will always be grass that needs cutting, leaves that needs raking, cars that needs washing, the list goes on. Encourage them to be assertive and go out in the neighborhood to try and earn some cash. This way of thinking may start out making $50 or so right now, but as this mindset is cultivated it could produce ideas that generate thousands of dollars later.
5. Teach children to live on a budget. Money should never be spent impulsively. Teach them to keep track of the money they have and what they spend because excessive debt ruins the chances of saving money consistently.
6. Be a good example for children to follow. Show them the family budget, how to pay bills and how to write a list before going to the store. All of these things can help build their financial IQ
Even though these 6 things will not make your child a millionaire within their lifetime but they can certainly help get them closer to it.
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The sooner children learn the principles of managing money wisely the better their chances of amassing a small fortune. So what are the most important things young people need to know about money? Depending on who you ask, this list could get rather lengthy, but these top 6 things children need to be taught in order to do well financially.
1. Teach children to save more than they spend. Money spent on "wants" should not exceed the amount of money saved. For example, if allowance is $10 per week and your child’s want to buy an item for $8, explain to them that they really can’t afford it because they would only be saving $2. But if they hold off for one more week they will have a total of $20, then they can spend $8 and still have $12 in their pocket.
2. Teach children the principle of money earning money. Open up a savings account for them to deposit their allowance into. When the bank statement arrives explain earned interest and point out that there is more money in the account now than what they originally deposited. Once they grasp the concept of earning interest introduce them to more sophisticated ways of getting a return on their money.
3. Teach children how to earn extra money. If their regular allowance is based on a specific set of chores,
from time to time throw in a special project and reward them with some extra cash for doing it. This will teach them that when you do more than the normal workload it results in receiving a little more. Later in life, this may translate into them seeking opportunities to work overtime or take on part time side jobs to earn a little extra cash.
4. Teach children that money is all around us. This will help them develop an entrepreneurial mindset. There will always be grass that needs cutting, leaves that needs raking, cars that needs washing, the list goes on. Encourage them to be assertive and go out in the neighborhood to try and earn some cash. This way of thinking may start out making $50 or so right now, but as this mindset is cultivated it could produce ideas that generate thousands of dollars later.
5. Teach children to live on a budget. Money should never be spent impulsively. Teach them to keep track of the money they have and what they spend because excessive debt ruins the chances of saving money consistently.
6. Be a good example for children to follow. Show them the family budget, how to pay bills and how to write a list before going to the store. All of these things can help build their financial IQ
Even though these 6 things will not make your child a millionaire within their lifetime but they can certainly help get them closer to it.
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Thursday 8 March 2012
5 Simple Ways to Reboot Your Family
Is your family stuck in a rut? Are you bored? Do you find yourself wondering how you got so far off track.
All families go through times like these occasionally. We would love to be able to push a pause button and just sit, regroup and get back on track. While that’s not literally an option, life doesn’t come with a pause button, there are ways we can get back in touch with our families. With a bit of effort it is possible to get in sync, connect and move forward in a deliberate and meaningful way as a team.
These are a few things you do occasionally to get back on the same page.
1) Have deep and meaningful conversations. After being with someone for months or years it’s easy to take them for granted. We assume we know them better than they know themselves. We consider ourselves experts on their likes and dislikes, their needs and wants. And I’m sure you know what they say about assuming. The thing is people change. Their tastes change. Their hopes and dreams evolve. Their outlook on life has likely changed significantly to what it was 15 years ago. The simple act of sitting and talking about things that matter can do wonders to deepen the understanding we have for one another.
2. Be present. When we’re distracted by cell phones, email, work, presentations, TV etc. it’s difficult to really appreciate what’s going on around you. Think about it – if you’re at work trying to have a conversation with your boss but he/she is constantly checking his/her email, phone messages and waving at everyone that walks past the window, how would you feel? Frustrated? Unimportant? Discounted?
You can only fully experience something and give someone your undivided attention when you don’t have the temptation to be somewhere other than where you are in that moment. Your family is no different.
3. Do something fun. Block out a chunk of time and do something fun with your entire family. Go for a walk, ride your bikes or go skating. Do something none of you have done before like rock-wall climbing, yoga or badminton. Team activities where you have to work together to succeed are great ways to promote trust, increase the sense of belonging and unite you as a team.
4. Plan for the future. Think as long term or short term. Maybe you want to plan your holidays or what you will do once you’re done school. Maybe you want to plan a little further out and think about retirement or early retirement if that’s in the cards. Planning together gives a sense of longevity to the relationship and gives you something to work towards together.
5. Invest in your family. Take the time to really put your family first. So many of us simply pay lip service to the phrase “family is my number one priority” yet very few of us actually live it. Investing a bit of time and energy in your family can tighten that core unit, make everyone feel safe and secure and raise happiness to levels you only imagined.
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All families go through times like these occasionally. We would love to be able to push a pause button and just sit, regroup and get back on track. While that’s not literally an option, life doesn’t come with a pause button, there are ways we can get back in touch with our families. With a bit of effort it is possible to get in sync, connect and move forward in a deliberate and meaningful way as a team.
These are a few things you do occasionally to get back on the same page.
1) Have deep and meaningful conversations. After being with someone for months or years it’s easy to take them for granted. We assume we know them better than they know themselves. We consider ourselves experts on their likes and dislikes, their needs and wants. And I’m sure you know what they say about assuming. The thing is people change. Their tastes change. Their hopes and dreams evolve. Their outlook on life has likely changed significantly to what it was 15 years ago. The simple act of sitting and talking about things that matter can do wonders to deepen the understanding we have for one another.
2. Be present. When we’re distracted by cell phones, email, work, presentations, TV etc. it’s difficult to really appreciate what’s going on around you. Think about it – if you’re at work trying to have a conversation with your boss but he/she is constantly checking his/her email, phone messages and waving at everyone that walks past the window, how would you feel? Frustrated? Unimportant? Discounted?
You can only fully experience something and give someone your undivided attention when you don’t have the temptation to be somewhere other than where you are in that moment. Your family is no different.
3. Do something fun. Block out a chunk of time and do something fun with your entire family. Go for a walk, ride your bikes or go skating. Do something none of you have done before like rock-wall climbing, yoga or badminton. Team activities where you have to work together to succeed are great ways to promote trust, increase the sense of belonging and unite you as a team.
4. Plan for the future. Think as long term or short term. Maybe you want to plan your holidays or what you will do once you’re done school. Maybe you want to plan a little further out and think about retirement or early retirement if that’s in the cards. Planning together gives a sense of longevity to the relationship and gives you something to work towards together.
5. Invest in your family. Take the time to really put your family first. So many of us simply pay lip service to the phrase “family is my number one priority” yet very few of us actually live it. Investing a bit of time and energy in your family can tighten that core unit, make everyone feel safe and secure and raise happiness to levels you only imagined.
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Sunday 4 March 2012
9 Essential Skills Kids Should Learn
Kids in today’s school system are not being prepared well for tomorrow’s world. We had no idea what the world had in store for us. And here’s the thing: we still don’t. We never do. We have never been
good at predicting the future, and so raising and educating our kids as
if we have any idea what the future will hold is not the smartest
notion.
How then to prepare our kids for a world that is unpredictable, unknown? By teaching them to adapt, to deal with change, to be prepared for anything by not preparing them for anything specific. This requires an entirely different approach to child-rearing and education. It means leaving our old ideas at the door, and reinventing everything.
Let’s look at a good set of essential skills that children should learn, that will best prepare them for any world of the future.
1. Asking questions. What we want most for our kids, as learners, is to be able to learn on their own. To teach themselves anything. Because if they can, then we don’t need to teach them everything — whatever they need to learn in the future, they can do on their own. The first step in learning to teach yourself anything is learning to ask questions. Luckily, kids do this naturally — our hope is to simply encourage it. A great way to do this is by modeling it. When you and your child encounter something new, ask questions, and explore the possible answers with your child. When he does ask questions, reward the child instead of punishing him (you might be surprised how many adults discourage questioning).
2. Solving problems. If a child can solve problems, he can do any job. A new job might be intimidating to any of us, but really it’s just another problem to be solved. A new skill, a new environment, a new need … they’re all simply problems to be solved. Teach your child to solve problems by modeling simple problem solving, then allowing him to do some very easy ones on his own. Don’t immediately solve all your child’s problems — let him fiddle with them and try various possible solutions, and reward such efforts. Eventually, your child will develop confidence in his problem-solving abilities, and then there is nothing he can’t do.
3. Tackling projects. Work on projects with your kid, letting him see how it’s done by working with you, then letting him do more and more by himself. As he gains confidence, let him tackle more on his own. Soon, his learning will just be a series of projects that he’s excited about.
4. Finding passion. Help your kid find things he’s passionate about — it’s a matter of trying a bunch of things, finding ones that excite him the most, helping him really enjoy them. Don’t discourage any interest — encourage them. Don’t suck the fun out of them either — make them rewarding.
5. Independence. Kids should be taught to increasingly stand on their own. A little at a time, of course. Slowly encourage them to do things on their own. Teach them how to do it, model it, help them do it, help less, then let them make their own mistakes. Give them confidence in themselves by letting them have a bunch of successes, and letting them solve the failures. Once they learn to be independent, they learn that they don’t need a teacher, a parent, or a boss to tell them what to do. They can manage themselves, and be free, and figure out the direction they need to take on their own.
6. Being happy on their own. Too many of us parents coddle our kids, keeping them on a leash, making them rely on our presence for happiness. When the kid grows up, he doesn’t know how to be happy. He must immediately attach to a girlfriend or friends. Failing that, they find happiness in other external things — shopping, food, video games, the Internet. But if a child learns from an early age that he can be happy by himself, playing and reading and imagining, he has one of the most valuable skills there is. Allow your kids to be alone from an early age. Give them privacy, have times (such as the evening) when parents and kids have alone time.
7. Compassion. One of the most essential skills ever. We need this to work well with others, to care for people other than ourselves, to be happy by making others happy. Modeling compassion is the key. Be compassionate to your child at all times, and to others. Show them empathy by asking how they think others might feel, and thinking aloud about how you think others might feel. Demonstrate at every opportunity how to ease the suffering of others when you’re able, how to make others happier with small kindnesses, how that can make you happier in return.
8. Tolerance. Too often we grow up in an insulated area, where people are mostly alike (at least in appearance), and when we come into contact with people who are different, it can be uncomfortable, shocking, fear-inducing. Expose your kids to people of all kinds, from different races to different sexuality to different mental conditions. Show them that not only is it OK to be different, but that differences should be celebrated, and that variety is what makes life so beautiful.
We can’t give our children a set of data to learn, a career to prepare for, when we don’t know what the future will bring. But we can prepare them to adapt to anything, to learn anything, to solve anything, and in about 20 years, to thank us for it. www.Hypersmash.com Pingates Pingates
How then to prepare our kids for a world that is unpredictable, unknown? By teaching them to adapt, to deal with change, to be prepared for anything by not preparing them for anything specific. This requires an entirely different approach to child-rearing and education. It means leaving our old ideas at the door, and reinventing everything.
Let’s look at a good set of essential skills that children should learn, that will best prepare them for any world of the future.
1. Asking questions. What we want most for our kids, as learners, is to be able to learn on their own. To teach themselves anything. Because if they can, then we don’t need to teach them everything — whatever they need to learn in the future, they can do on their own. The first step in learning to teach yourself anything is learning to ask questions. Luckily, kids do this naturally — our hope is to simply encourage it. A great way to do this is by modeling it. When you and your child encounter something new, ask questions, and explore the possible answers with your child. When he does ask questions, reward the child instead of punishing him (you might be surprised how many adults discourage questioning).
2. Solving problems. If a child can solve problems, he can do any job. A new job might be intimidating to any of us, but really it’s just another problem to be solved. A new skill, a new environment, a new need … they’re all simply problems to be solved. Teach your child to solve problems by modeling simple problem solving, then allowing him to do some very easy ones on his own. Don’t immediately solve all your child’s problems — let him fiddle with them and try various possible solutions, and reward such efforts. Eventually, your child will develop confidence in his problem-solving abilities, and then there is nothing he can’t do.
3. Tackling projects. Work on projects with your kid, letting him see how it’s done by working with you, then letting him do more and more by himself. As he gains confidence, let him tackle more on his own. Soon, his learning will just be a series of projects that he’s excited about.
4. Finding passion. Help your kid find things he’s passionate about — it’s a matter of trying a bunch of things, finding ones that excite him the most, helping him really enjoy them. Don’t discourage any interest — encourage them. Don’t suck the fun out of them either — make them rewarding.
5. Independence. Kids should be taught to increasingly stand on their own. A little at a time, of course. Slowly encourage them to do things on their own. Teach them how to do it, model it, help them do it, help less, then let them make their own mistakes. Give them confidence in themselves by letting them have a bunch of successes, and letting them solve the failures. Once they learn to be independent, they learn that they don’t need a teacher, a parent, or a boss to tell them what to do. They can manage themselves, and be free, and figure out the direction they need to take on their own.
6. Being happy on their own. Too many of us parents coddle our kids, keeping them on a leash, making them rely on our presence for happiness. When the kid grows up, he doesn’t know how to be happy. He must immediately attach to a girlfriend or friends. Failing that, they find happiness in other external things — shopping, food, video games, the Internet. But if a child learns from an early age that he can be happy by himself, playing and reading and imagining, he has one of the most valuable skills there is. Allow your kids to be alone from an early age. Give them privacy, have times (such as the evening) when parents and kids have alone time.
7. Compassion. One of the most essential skills ever. We need this to work well with others, to care for people other than ourselves, to be happy by making others happy. Modeling compassion is the key. Be compassionate to your child at all times, and to others. Show them empathy by asking how they think others might feel, and thinking aloud about how you think others might feel. Demonstrate at every opportunity how to ease the suffering of others when you’re able, how to make others happier with small kindnesses, how that can make you happier in return.
8. Tolerance. Too often we grow up in an insulated area, where people are mostly alike (at least in appearance), and when we come into contact with people who are different, it can be uncomfortable, shocking, fear-inducing. Expose your kids to people of all kinds, from different races to different sexuality to different mental conditions. Show them that not only is it OK to be different, but that differences should be celebrated, and that variety is what makes life so beautiful.
We can’t give our children a set of data to learn, a career to prepare for, when we don’t know what the future will bring. But we can prepare them to adapt to anything, to learn anything, to solve anything, and in about 20 years, to thank us for it. www.Hypersmash.com Pingates Pingates
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