How To Raise Your Child Self-Esteem

1) Let Him Know That You Cherish Him

If your child misbehaves, don't confuse his actions with his value as a person. Instead, let him know that you love and accept his, even if you don't agree with her behavior.

2) Offer Words of Wisdom, Not Discouragement
Negative words can really stick with your child and lower his self-esteem. So listen to your child, and support his concerns and ideas. When you believe in your little one, he's more likely to believe in himself.

3) Provide Compliments That Count
The best compliments are honest, sincere and specific. Rather than saying, "Great work," try "I like how hard you worked to finish your math project by the due date," instead.

4) Let Him Explore His Individuality
Don't try to mold your kid into who you want him to be. He may resist conforming to your desires and suffer from low self-esteem. Instead, provide him with experiences to explore, develop and learn about his own unique interests. Be your child's number one cheerleader.

5) Offer Unconditional Love
Instead of waiting for your kid to achieve a new goal before showing him your love, tell him often how much you love him. Spend time with him, and let him know that your love is without condition.

6) Appreciate His Individuality
If you compare your child to his peers or siblings, he'll start feeling inferior or resentful. So rather than comparing him to others, simply recognize your child's unique strengths and weakness—and love him just the (wonderful) way that he is!

7) Promote Self Sufficiency
Boost your kid's self-confidence by giving him opportunities to succeed. Assign him chores and ask for his help preparing dinner. He'll feel proud to lend a helping hand, and you'll get the house organized much more quickly.

8) Allow Him to Go Through Growing Pains
Instead of rescuing your child from every difficult situation, give him a chance to grow by letting him work out certain situations on his own. Let him know that you're available if he needs help, and allow him to solve his own problems. Independent problem-solving will help build up him self-confidence.

9) Lead by Example
Actions speak louder than words, so be the example that you want your child to follow. Model confidence, problem-solving skills and positive self-esteem.

10) Set Boundaries and Offer Choices
If you tell your child a rule, make sure that you enforce it. When you give him a choice about certain matters, accept and respect his decisions. This tips will help foster mutual respect and understanding.

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Tell Tale Signs You Are A Helicopter Parent

Helicopter parents: It's the name given to the obsessively protective moms and dads who "hover" around their kids. Of course, those kids end up becoming helpless teenagers and adults who always look for mama to swoop in and save them—a major parenting no-no. But what exactly separates the garden-variety parent from one that can't seem to give her kids a little space? Are you a helicopter parent? Check out some of the most obvious signs.

1) You Can't Let Go
If you feel something akin to physical pain when your little one heads out the door to kindergarten, you might be a heli-mom. Hovering parents are so attached to their kids that it's almost impossible to focus on anything else; daily activities, constant conversations and every ounce of effort is reserved for your child.

2) You Are A Spoiler
Some helicopter parents simply want to push their children to succeed, but others take on an enabler role instead. Since you want the best for your child, you could find yourself in the "gimme trap," where you feel obligated to provide the cutest clothes, the latest gadgets and the best of the best for your little one, without ever asking for him to work for it.

3) Your Are A Lobbyist
Some of the worst-offending hovercraft moms are the ones who treat their child's lives like an audition. Instead of allowing your child to make mistakes and reap consequences, you're constantly stepping in to prove that your child is perfect, smart, hilarious, bright, kind, generous and everything else. Hey, mom; you're not a Hollywood agent... you're a parent. Don't feel like you have to "sell" your kid 24/7.

4) You Are A Security Guard
 Picture this: Your kid's playing on the swings when another child comes up and tries to push him out of the way. Are you a helicopter parent? If your first inclination is to put on your best bouncer face and step in, the answer's probably "yes." Not allowing your child to deal with conflict robs him of life experiences. Take a step back and see how he reacts; you might be surprised.

5) Your Are A Homework Helper
Sure, you want your child to get straight A's at school, but at what cost? If you're the one up until 1 a.m. gluing together a diorama of Little House on the Prairie while your child plays Angry Birds on his phone, you've gone too far. Don't forget that you already passed fifth grade; why not let your child do the same?

6) You Are A Germaphobe
Hey, we get it. Bacteria spreads sickness and hanging around a sniffling 7-year-old is pretty gross. But prepping your kid with bubble wrap, going insane with sanitizer and overdoing the germaphobe thing are all markers of a total helicopter parent. Kids get sick, but they also get better. You can relax.

7) You Don't Respect Independence
If you're hand-picking your child's friends, scheduling hi  after-school activities and dictating his diet, you're probably hovering a little too close. Independence is a great gift for kids learning to make choices and find their way in life. When you take over the decision-making, you say "I don't trust you to choose for yourself." Not very nice, is it?

8)  You Always Give In
Helicopter parents often harbor a huge amount of mommy-guilt, which often translates into a lack of rules or constantly giving in to child demands. If you're the one to buckle when your kid is begging for bubblegum, you're probably overprotective to the point of shielding your kid from any negative experience ever. Bad form!

9) You Are A Professional Toy Researcher
So, your little one wants the latest doll? Wait, you can't just buy it! You have to first research specs, check out on online rules and ask around before you buy. You're so afraid that a toy won't be educational, safe or fun enough that you can't make a decision without 10 hours of online research first.

10) You Are Chronically Over Prepared
So you're headed to the zoo. Did you pack the sunscreen? How about extra snacks? Got a water bottle? How about the flare gun and life preserver? Helicopter parents are the ones that prep their kids for anything; and we mean anything. You can always spot their kids on the playground: They're the ones with the overstuffed backpack, the knee and elbow pads, a four-course meal and that miserable expression.



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Why Do Kids Cheat And How To Prevent It

These days, it seems like cheating is everywhere, from the school games to the classroom. With stories of professional dishonesty and performance-enhancing drugs permeating the adult world, it's no wonder that studies show academic cheating among children and teens on the rise. But while cheating on a test or plagiarizing an essay may seem a quick way to get a leg up, students are actually holding themselves back from the type of meaningful learning that will serve them best in life.

So how can parents keep kids from cheating in a society that seems to stress winning at any cost? The trick is to diminish the motivations that drive cheating in the first place. Kids cheat when they become stressed, as the pressure to get good grades and high test scores increases, so does the incidence of cheating. Although children who cheat in school do not fit any defined profile, they're usually students “who are much more focused on getting good grades and extrinsically motivated rather than intrinsically motivated by a desire to learn.”

That means that the more pressure students feel, the more likely they are to resort to cheating. And although pen-and-paper notes and other familiar methods are still very much in use, cell phones and tablets have opened up new opportunities for students gunning for top grades. Obviously with more technology there are more methods kids use to cheat. Browsing the Internet during a test, texting solutions or taking photos of answer sheets and messaging them to friends are all possible in the digital age, and enforcement of no phone policies can be tough for teachers.

Using technology as a cheating aid may be new, but cheating has been around a long time, and it probably won't go away anytime soon. However, there are things that parents can do to help make sure their children get the most out of their education by get past the impulse to cheat.

• Take Pressure Off. Kids often cheat because they see it as the only way to measure up to high expectations. Although it's good to expect the most from your kids, make it clear that you expect them to do their best, not be the best.
• Avoid Extrinsic Motivation. Praising your child every time he comes home with a good grade is standard parenting procedure, but make sure that you're sending the right message. Avoid punishing your child for low grades and rewarding him for high ones. Instead, emphasize the concept of effort by recognizing the hard work he put into his work, and encouraging better effort in problem areas.
• Talk About It. One of the most important things parents can do is talk to kids about how they are feeling academically and whether they are feeling stressed. Opening up a dialogue about tough classes does more than inform you about where your child is struggling: he'll know that you're on his side when it comes to that killer math test or demanding paper, and be more likely to come to you with problems rather then dealing with them the wrong way.
• Prep for Peer Pressure. Whether your child is involved in cheating or not, he will feel pressure to participate from peers at school, from friends asking to copy a last minute lab report to students passing notes across his desk during a test. Make sure he knows that by saying “No” now, he's not only helping himself, but helping others in the long run.
• Know the News. Sports stars, politicians, and high-powered businesspeople are constantly in the news over all kinds of misbehavior, from doping and lying to insider trading and fraud. Use these cases as “teachable moments” to talk about moral values, and emphasize that even though some people act dishonestly to get ahead, it's still not okay for you or your child to do the same.
• Set a Good Example. Think your teen doesn't notice what you do? Think again. Younger kids may mimic a parent's behavior, but older adolescents will jump on hypocrisy wherever they see it. Either way, it's best to be a role model for your kids, and that means putting the brakes on “white” lies and shortcuts to get what you want the easy way. Be sure to share personal stories about cheating and lying with your child, too: it's important to show that you're not so perfect after all!

Although pressure to perform is an increasing focus for students, your child shouldn't feel that cheating is the only way to get ahead. Through hard work, good communication, and a desire to learn, your child will become a better learner and a better citizen for life.

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How To Boost Your Child Development

Good parenting is the greatest gift you can give your child... that and love, safety, and nurturing! One ingredient to being a good parent is to have good role models. Not all parents know how to do that. By learning and/or improving your parenting skills, you can be a wonderful a parent, as well as a wonderful role model.

Anyone and everyone can learn good parenting skills. Even parents who are overwhelmed, or alone. The first three years of your child’s life are crucial. Those are the years that your child will develop significant intellectual, emotional and social abilities. That’s when they learn to give and accept love. They learn confidence, security, and empathy… they learn to be curious and persistent… everything your child needs to learn to relate well to others, and lead a happy and productive life.

You can make a difference in your child’s development by:

• Interacting – Spend time watching them and responding to their cues. They will feel loved and nurtured.
• Loving Touches – Cradle them, hold them. Hugs and nurturing are critical to a child’s development. It keeps them calm and comforted, and gives them courage to move on.
• A Stable Relationship – They need someone special to be there when they call.
• Safe, Healthy Environment – Plug the outlets, block the stairs. Keep lead away! Make a safe, special place so for them to explore.
• Self-Esteem – They can, they can, they can --- with your love and encouragement! Praise them often!
• Quality Child Care – Children must be cared for in your absence with people you can trust. Check references.
• Communication –Kids and babies need the stimulation of conversation.
• Play – Learn how to play together. Have fun. You’ll teach your children a lot!
• Music – Music is fun and soothing and helps them through their developmental stages.
• Reading – Teaches with pictures, with words and with love. You’ll help your children become good readers by reading to them.

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Homework Make Easy in 9 Simple Steps

1) Create a Study Space for Success
Set aside a regular time each day for your child to tackle homework. A quiet house with limited distractions makes an ideal place to study.

2) Use a Checklist to Manage Tasks
Have your child stay organized with a homework checklist. She should keep track of which assignments are most important and which assignments take the most time.

3) Provide Prompts
Help your child focus on the task at hand by summarizing the directions or by providing her with the first sentence for her writing assignments.

4) Collect the Necessary Materials
Keep a stock of materials that your child will need as she does her homework. If your child tends to get easily distracted, give her materials only as she needs them.

5) Help Him Chug Through His Workload
Break up large tasks into smaller parts and give breaks often so that your child can release energy!

6) Get Him to Juggle Assignments
Teach your kid how to prioritize tasks by difficulty. Have him work on simple assignments first and complex tasks later.

7) Make Meaningful Connections
Bring homework assignments to life by connecting the main idea to real life. For example, if your child's learning about fractions in school, ask him how to divide up a pizza pie among family members.

8) Plan a Course of Action
For long-term homework assignments, such as reports, help your child plan which parts of the assignment he'll tackle on which day. Keep tabs on his progress to ensure that the assignment gets completed before the deadline.

9) Provide a Proofing Checklist
Keep a proofreading checklist in your child's study space so that he reviews his work (such as capitalization, punctuation and spelling) before turning in assignments.

 Recommended reading: The Organized Student





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How To Parent A Strong Willed Child

Have a strong-willed child?  You're lucky! Strong willed children can be a challenge to parent when they’re young, but if sensitively parented, they become terrific teens and young adults.  Self-motivated and inner-directed, they go after what they want and are almost impervious to peer pressure.  As long as parents resist the impulse to "break their will," strong-willed kids often become leaders.

What exactly is a strong-willed, or spirited, child?  Some parents call them "difficult" or “stubborn,” but we could also see them as people of integrity who aren’t easily swayed from their own viewpoints.  They want desperately to be right, and sometimes will put that desire above everything else. When their heart is set on something, their brains seem to have a hard time switching gears.  They have big, passionate feelings and live at full throttle.

Often, these kids are prone to power-struggles with their parents.  However, it takes two to have a power struggle.  You don't have to  attend every argument to which you're invited!  If you can take a deep breath when your buttons get pushed, and remind yourself that you can let your child save face and still get what you want, you can learn to sidestep those power struggles. 


Research shows that  parents who pay attention can avoid power struggles, even with strong-willed kids, by empathizing as they set limits, giving choices, and clearly offering respect.  Adopting a policy of looking for win/win solutions rather than just laying down the law keeps strong-willed children from becoming explosive and teaches them essential skills of negotiation and compromise.


Strong-willed kids feel their integrity is compromised if they're forced to submit to a parent's will.  And, really, you don't WANT to raise an obedient child.  Of course you want your child to do what you say.  But not because he is obedient, meaning he always does what someone bigger tells him.  No, you want him to do what you say because he trusts YOU, because you are the parent and have his best interests at heart.  You want to raise a child who has self-discipline, takes responsibility, and is considerate -- and most important, has the discernment to figure out when to trust and be influenced by someone else.  Breaking a child's will leaves him open to the influence of others that often will not serve him.  What's more, it's a betrayal of the spiritual contract we make as parents to nurture our child's unique gifts.



That said, strong-willed kids can be a handful -- high energy, challenging, persistent.  How do we protect those fabulous qualities and encourage their cooperation? 

1. Avoid power struggles by using routines and rules.  That way, you aren't bossing them around, it’s just that “The rule is we use the potty after every meal and snack,” or “The schedule is that lights-out is at 8pm.  If you hurry, we’ll have time for two books,” or "In our house, we finish homework before computer, TV, or telephone time."  The parent stops being the bad guy.

2.  Your strong-willed child wants mastery more than anything.  Let her take charge of as many of her own activities as possible.  Don’t nag at her to brush her teeth, ask “What else do you need to do before we leave?”   If she looks blank, tick off the short list: “Every morning we eat, brush teeth, use the toilet, and pack the backpack.  I saw you pack your backpack, great job!  Now, what do you still need to do before we leave?”  Kids who feel more independent and in charge of themselves will have less need to rebel and be oppositional. Not to mention they take responsibility early.

3.  Give your strong-willed child choices.  If you give orders, he will almost certainly bristle.  If you offer a choice, he feels like the master of his own destiny.  Of course, only offer choices you can live with and don’t let yourself get resentful by handing away your power.  If going to the store is non-negotiable and he wants to keep playing, an appropriate choice is:  “Do you want to leave now or in ten minutes?”

4. Give her authority over her own body. “I hear that you don’t want to wear your jacket today.  I think it is cold and I am definitely wearing a jacket.  Of course, you are in charge of your own body, as long as you stay safe and healthy, so you get to decide whether to wear a jacket.  But I’m afraid that you will be cold once we are outside, and I won’t want to come back to the house.  How about I put your jacket in the backpack, and then we’ll have it if you change your mind?”  She’s not going to get pneumonia, unless you push her into it by acting like you’ve won if she asks for the jacket.  And once she won’t lose face by wearing her jacket, she’ll be begging for it once she gets cold.  It’s just hard for her to imagine feeling cold when she’s so warm right now in the house, and a jacket seems like such a hassle. She's sure she's right -- her own body is telling her so -- so naturally she resists you.  You don't want to undermine that self-confidence, just teach her that there's no shame in letting new information change your mind.

5. Don't push him into opposing you.  If you take a hard and fast position, you can easily push your child into defying you, just to prove a point.  You'll know when it's a power struggle and you're invested in winning.  Just stop, take a breath, and remind yourself that winning a battle with your child always sets you up to lose what’s most important: the relationship.  When in doubt say "Ok, you can decide this for yourself."  If he can't, then say what part of it he can decide, or find another way for him to meet his need for autonomy without compromising his health or safety.


6. Side step power struggles by letting your child save face.  You don’t have to prove you’re right. You can, and should, set reasonable expectations and enforce them.  But under no circumstances should you try to break your child’s will or force him to acquiesce to your views. 

7.  Listen to her. You, as the adult, might reasonably presume you know best.  But your strong-willed child has a strong will partly as a result of her integrity. She has a viewpoint that is making her hold fast to her position, and she is trying to protect something that seems important to her. Only by listening calmly to her and reflecting her words will you come to understand what’s making her oppose you. 

8.  See it from his point of view.  For instance, he may be angry because you promised to wash his superman cape and then forgot.  To you, he is being stubborn.  To him, he is justifiably upset, and you are being hypocritical, because he is not allowed to break his promises to you.  How do you clear this up and move on?  You apologize profusely for breaking your promise, you reassure him that you try very hard to keep your promises, and you go, together, to wash the cape.  You might even teach him how to wash his own clothes! Just consider how would you want to be treated, and treat him accordingly.

9. Discipline through the relationship, never through punishment. Kids don’t learn when they’re in the middle of a fight.  Like all of us, that’s when adrenaline is pumping and learning shuts off.  Kids behave because they want to please us.  The more you fight with and punish your child, the more you undermine her desire to please you. 

10. Offer him respect and empathy. Most strong-willed children are fighting for respect.   If you offer it to them, they don’t need to fight to protect their position.  And, like the rest of us, it helps a lot if they feel understood.  If you see his point of view and think he's wrong -- for instance, he wants to wear the superman cape to church and you think that's inappropriate -- you can still offer him empathy and meet him part way while you set the limit.








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