How To Get Kids To Listen

Getting kids to listen can be a little tricky, especially if you don't spend a lot of time with children in the first place. The truth is that they can be very unpredictable - docile one moment and then running away from you in the next. A lot of them think that every day's just a game and honestly, who can blame them? They're kids.

However, there are ways of getting kids to listen without necessarily having to chase them all around the house. Read on to find out how!

1) Catch Them in a Good Mood.
When children are in a good mood, they're very sweet even if a bit mischievous. As long as they're happy, they're more likely to listen to you. Trying to talk them when they're having a tantrum or when they're upset is like talking to a brick wall. All they'll think about is how unhappy they are at the moment.

2) Say What You Mean.
Getting kids to listen doesn't work the same way as getting adults to listen. Adults need long sentences and explanations before they become convinced of something. Kids, on the other hand, need a more direct approach. Avoid going around in circles. Instead of rambling on and on about how they're lucky to have a family and how they would feel if the situation were reversed, just tell them that teasing their kid brothers and sisters is wrong and that they shouldn't do it again. They already have a short attention span as it is. In their case, the more direct to the point you are, the better your chances of getting your message across.   


3) Listen To What They Have To Say.
Do to other people what you want others to do to you. It's as easy as that. If you don't take the time to listen to what the kids have to say, then how can you expect them to listen to you?  

4) No To Violence.
No matter how much you want to get kids to listento you, you should never resort to violent means. Shouting and calling kids names won't get you what you want. Hitting or pinching them won't do the trick either. You might intimidate them at first, but it won't be long before they start fighting back. 

5) Avoid Lecturing Them.
Don't start your conversation with a lecture. Lecturing was our parents' way of getting us to listen. And to be honest, that didn't end up well for a lot of people.

Today's method is much more recommended. It involves you talking to the kids about what it is they've done in a manner that aims to encourage self-learning than self-loathing. The conversation is now two-sided. The kids hear you out and you hear them out.

Learning how to get kids to listen to you can be quite tricky, especially if you haven't had a lot of experience dealing with them. Don't look down on them and they'll be more willing to lend you an ear. You might be surprised, but most kids these days are more insightful and more capable of handling responsibility.

Are You A Facebook Addict ?

Facebook addiction is possible. As with any type of technology, compulsive use of social networks can affect your offline social life and have serious social, physical and psychological consequences.

Top 10 signs of Facebook addiction

1. Initial feelings of satisfaction or pleasure after a Facebook login session.

2. Staying logged into a Facebook session longer than planned (frequently associated with a loss of sense of time or a neglect of basic needs).

3. Giving up important social or occupational activities in order to spend time on Facebook.

4. Continued use of Facebook despite negative consequences related to Facebook use, including physical symptoms of fatigue, marital or social problems, and/or problems at work.

5. When Facebook is inaccessible, feelings of anger, tension, and/or depression are present.

6. An increasing need to spend more time on Facebook to achieve the same initial effect of self-satisfaction.


7. Spending a great deal of time on other Facebook-related activities, such as creating new ideas for updating your profile, reading or talking about Facebook and trying new software related to Facebook,

8. Attempts to cut down or stop engaging on Facebook tend to fail.

9. Steady or sharp increase in Facebook use. Usually noticeable by excessive login times on Facebook, including profile updates, commenting, uploading/downloading files, and browsing profiles.

10. A friend, family member or loved one comments on your Facebook use as “too much.”

If you think that  your children may have a problem with Facebook, it is time to take remedial actions. Technology addictions and IT related compulsive use is an emerging problem  Do seek professional help if family members, especially your children, show signs of these addiction. There is no shame in that.

How To Motivate Your Children To Do Schoolwork

Getting your children to do their schoolwork is one of the toughest tasks which parents face daily. At times things can get so frustrating that parents end up yelling at their children or punishing them. However aggressiveness or impatience only aggravates the situation rather than solving it. If your children are not taking interest in their schoolwork and studies, here are a few parenting tips which can help you get schoolwork done from your children without too much fuss:

1) First of all, sit with your children and gently explain to them why studies and schoolwork are important. Don't lose your cool. Instead be calm and patient with your children. Also discuss with them what kind of work you do and share the books you read. Listen to what they have to say about their school, teachers, classmates, assignments and so on. Participate with them in their world and activities and they will feel closer to you.

2) Set up a fixed schedule for schoolwork which should be followed as a daily routine. For instance, devote the time say from 4 to 5:30 for schoolwork and after that for play. Once they know that they have time for play after their schoolwork is finished, they will enjoy the excitement of finishing schoolwork quickly. That helps children realize that their entire day is not devoted to just studies.

3) After scheduling a fixed time, set up a place in the house where children can do their schoolwork without any distractions. Make sure that the study room has ample light and is clean and quiet.

4) Don't interfere too much while your children are doing their schoolwork. Offer your help when your child asks for it. Supervising your child too closely at every step can have two undesirable results - (a) your child will not learn to do his own tasks independently (b) your child may find your interference a bother. Instead give your child time to resolve her/her problems. Step in only when you find your child unable to handle the task on his own.
5) Be a role model to your children. If children 3 to 10 years old watch their parents reading or writing, they too are likely to pick up these habits.

6) Apart from all this, also make an effort to keep in touch with your children's teachers. This will keep you updated about how your children are progressing in school. It will also give you an opportunity to discuss with the teachers your child's performance in school.

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Damaging Parenting Styles. Are You One Of Those ?

Just like a butterfly must experience the struggle of breaking out of the cocoon to strengthen its wings, so also our youth must mature into adulthood by experiencing failure, relating to difficult people, and other hard things we would like to protect them from. We can inadvertently prevent our children from growing into strong adults by helping them too much.

Ask any teacher what is their number one headache. Most of them will say “parents” hands down. Whoops. Don't sound to be rude but there's some truth to that statement. For all intent and purposes, we do not wish to be bad parents.

There are some damaging parenting styles which we may have unintentionally acquired and impose them upon our children without realizing the consequences. Below are some of them.

- Helicopter parents. One that tend to hover over their kids, keeping them from normal life difficulties and preventing them from learning from normal failure which would result in the life lesson of persevering.

-Karaoke parents. One that work hard at emulating their kids’ generation and try to be their buddies rather than the authority figure of parents. They fail to earn respect and to demand obedience.

- Dry cleaner parents. One who are always dropping their kids off for others to raise them or fix them. They fail to mentor their kids.

- Volcano parents. They tend to erupt all over school authorities without any warning.

- Dropout parents. Someone who give up, either just checking out of being a parent or literally leaving the family to fend for themselves.  They fail to provide a role model.

- Bullied parents. They are beaten down by their strong-willed kids, intimidated by their threats. They have surrendered their authority.

- Groupie parents. One that idolize their children, making celebrities of their glorious offspring, lavishing things on them and denying nothing.

- Commando parents. They focus on perfection and compliance rather than being satisfied with growth and improvement.

Do you belong to one of those categories ? If you do, it's time to make a change. I bet you can think of someone you know who is also an example of each one of these. And of course, there is the blend too – where we do this sometimes and that other times.

What our children need is an adult in his life to make appropriate demands on one hand and to have appropriate responsiveness on the other. Remember that childhood is very fleeting, toddlers today and adolescents tomorrow. Whatever difficulty you are experiencing as a parent, you want to keep it in perspective.

The Proper Way To Reward A Child.

When we see our children growing up, we can’t help but feel that child development resemble ourselves many years ago. They are full of hope and dreams and it is our duty to provide and give them the best that we can. Our children require tonnes of guidance from us, and often, parents may dish out rewards to motivate them. The issue of rewarding our children has been quite a debate in recent years, with critics pointing out that parents are too generous in rewarding their kids. This may result in overly sheltered and pampered children in today’s society.

Of cause, there is absolutely nothing wrong with rewarding your child! You can reward your child for many occasions like coming up tops in class, improving on a weak subject, stopping a bad habit and doing a good deed. Let us examine why rewarding is essential portion in nurturing a child:

-Motivation and encouragement. Children do not have the maturity to differentiate right from wrong and giving rewards is a good method of reinforcing a particular ideal.

-Getting things done correctly. A reward will ensure that the child knows which actions deserve a reward or which action will result in a reprimand.

-Inculcating positive habits. Different children have different personalities and different habits. Sometimes, offering a reward to inculcate a good habit works better than just repeated scolding or nagging.

- Get rid of the guilty conscience. Parents may feel that they are too harsh on their children. We must bear in mind that we want them to grow up with the proper behaviour and best manners and reprimanding is part of the process.

-Add in some tender loving care! A pat on the back, a praise from your mouth, a big hug and a kiss on the cheek can also show how much you care for them!

-Draw up some boundaries. Yes, by doing this, your child will know some limitations. What is right or wrong, or what can be done or not. Hence, your child will not have a mindset that doing something correct will result in a reward.

There are many types of rewards. A parent must take note that rewards are more than just handing out extra pocket money, new toys or ice-creams. A reward could come in the form of a compliment, a slightly longer time in front of the TV, a surprise trip to the zoo, or even a pat on the back. Which type of reward is suitable for your child, only the parents are able to decide. Some parents tend to replace rewards with punishments. It can work too, but remember, always do it in moderation. Ultimately, we would not want our children to be fearful of us.

The bottom line is too many rewards in the form of cash or other material benefits is not recommended as it can result in your child being overly materialistic, pampered or calculative. Parents can sit down, think through and plan the appropriate rewards to give their children. However, as they grow up, there must be a gradual transition whereby our children can do the correct things without rewards. We must wean them from the rewards, just like how we would teach our child to swim initially with a float and slowly removing the float as they become better. Lets do our best to nurture our kids to become self-reliant, well-mannered and responsible adults!