Tips On How To Get Your Kids To Do What You Want

Have you ever been so frustrated with your child that you threatened or yelled at him? If so, did that stop the behavior? Punishment is a short-term, reactive solution to bad behavior. It makes your child feel angry, guilty and resentful, and it ultimately ebbs away at a healthy parent-child relationship. Find out the secret to making long-lasting, positive changes to your youngster’s behavior.

Punishment means using techniques like yelling and spanking to reduce bad behavior. Positive discipline means patiently guiding your child so that he learns good behavior. You set firm limits and teach your child problem solving skills so that he’ll build up a positive self-image. In the long run, your child learns self-control and cooperation.These five techniques will help you create a positive and nurturing environment for your kid—and get him to do what you want!  

1) Manage the Environment
Keep an eye on your child’s surroundings, and minimize the opportunities he has to misbehave. Once your child starts crawling and walking, childproof your home so that fragile items are out of reach of grabby fingers. Kids sometimes misbehave out of boredom, so keep your child busy with constructive activities and items to explore. (For example, keep an activities basket handy for long car rides.)  

2) Set Clear Rules and Limits
When you have too many rules, it’s hard for your kid (and you!) to keep track of them all. Set clear limits by picking rules that are vital for your child to know given his age. For a toddler, focus on safety rules like “Stay in the yard.” For an older child, set expectations around doing homework and chores. Try to phrase your rules with positive language. Instead of saying “Don’t run,” say “Please walk.”  

3) Praise Good Behavior
Catch your kid being good. (“I see that you’re helping your younger sister tie her shoes. Great job!”) This positive reinforcement will help him repeat appropriate behaviors.  

4) Reason With Him
If your child misbehaves, calmly explain to him what the rules are and why he needs to comply. Your compassion and patience will show him how to handle conflict in a positive way. This discussion will also give him a chance to express his view. 

5) If Necessary, Dole Out an Appropriate Punishment
If you’ve done these four steps and your child continues to misbehave, you may need to punish him. Don’t resort to hitting or yelling. Instead, come up with a solution that takes your child’s age into consideration. For a younger child, give her a timeout (about one minute per year of your child’s age) so that he can reflect on his actions. For an older child, temporarily take away a privilege. Explain your reasoning for the punishment. And praise your child when his behavior improves.



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