You’ve done your parental homework. You sought professional help
early on. You’ve worked in tandem with your school district to
understand what services they offer. You’ve spent extra time with your
child’s teachers so everyone is on the same page. You’ve even
successfully navigated the psychological testing maze. Your instincts
proved correct: Your kid is gifted!
Once the flush of success and
excitement wears off, reality hits. Along with the kudos and perks of
having a gifted child, you begin to realize there is a downside as well.
Your child displays a level of boredom and impatience that tries your
patience. Frustration and disappointment reign when his self-imposed
goals aren’t met. His lack of a social peer group causes you worry and a
certain level of sadness. And more worrisome is his seemingly disregard
for family boundaries and rules.
As if the challenges your gifted child brings to the family unit aren’t
enough, society at large joins in. Most people don’t know what is
considered normal for the gifted is most often labeled neurosis in the general population. Given this observation, it is
imperative that parents provide their gifted child with an extra dose of
support in the following areas:
1) Emotional intensity. Heightened emotions often
go hand-in-hand with all that brain power. And feeling emotions more
intensely than others can lead your gifted child to see himself as
“abnormal.” Reassure him that his emotional responses are normal, for
him. Do you have a memory of a time that you felt intensely emotional?
Share your story.
2) Extreme sensitivity. Intense sensitivity is
perfectly normal for the gifted child. Again, reassure your child.
Explain to him in simple terms that others might view his sensitivity as
“inappropriate” or “abnormal” because they don’t understand. Use a
realistic approach when teaching your child that the world-at-large is
not always kind.
3) Discipline. All children test limits; it’s
their job. But some gifted children test limits to the hilt. Exercise
appropriate discipline. Best results come from verbally communicating
expectations, highlighting the rules and regulations. Have your child
play back to you their interpretation of what they heard. Correct
misinterpretations and always leave room for negotiation.
4) Venting. Nothing you do as a parent holds more
worth than giving your child your full attention. Active listening is
more about validating than giving advice or offering suggestions.
Practice daily.
5) Safety nets. Be present in your child’s world.
Know their friends, teachers, dance instructor, and soccer coach. Build
relationships with those in your child’s “village.” When problems
surface, you have a support system; when success happens, you have a fan
club.
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